Things Aren’t Happy

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This gif reminds me there is no one missing from our family. Things aren’t quite so dire. There are always people who are more in need than we are. We should remember them, at this time, and at all times. Drop someone a note. It really will make their day.

However, on to my tale of woe! 🤣 The past few days I have been sleeping. Waking occaionally to vomit. Yesterday, I was well enough to watch tv with my daughter, and had to use the washroom. Oy! Pardon the grossness, but I pooped a Christmas tree! I was vomiting, thank goodness my husband was working from home, I had my daughter rescue him from a conference call – I honestly thought it was hospital time. Now, I used to have problems with constipation.  So bad that I would have to take an injection to reverse the opiods so I could go. I was going everyday this week! I didn’t eat, though, much. So strange. I feel horrible still. I am hoping things improve. It sounds like the flu, right? Nah, just more intense version of my everyday. I’m cold, hot and I can’t stop shaking.

As for Christmas gifts, we celebrate Christmas, I have been ordering things, but I don’t remember what I bought for who or what. I haven’t maxed out my card, so we seem to be okay, but the boxes that are arriving? There’s a lot! What have I done? What do I need to wrap? Oh God help me. Next week will be brutal.

I have managed to escape the in-laws Christmas dinner. My husband has finally gotten across I’m too ill. My MIL understands, apparently, because we share symptoms. No, it doesnt bother me she’s 85. 🙄 However, she used to scream at my husband for helping me in any way. It’s best if I sit it out. It’s an hour each way. I can’t do it. My mother asked me if I was coming for Christmas. Even after I explained. They live an hour and 20 away. I wish people got this, ya know. LISTEN!

I wish I could stop obsessing about where my friends have disappeared to. I realize it’s the holidays, and I don’t expect to hear from people now, but… yeah. It’s pretty lonely here. I wish I was much more of an introvert. I need to work on this. I bought some therapy journals, and I hope they provide some distraction.

I’m working on getting some doctors working on these issues. Well, my husband is. It is not going well. I was rejected by one doctor because I have not been diagnosed with Chrohn’s disease. So new GI, go through the waiting list. I’m burping almost constantly, even water is painful to drink, and I have a huge pain the size of my fist on the right side that hurts when food moves around that bend. I’ve had it checked out gynecologically six ways, so we are confident it’s a GI thing.

This weekend, I think we try to put up the tree. I hope the minions can get it done. My kids are stuggling pretty hard with school. But they deserve privacy.

My husband actually showed them my Christmas tree poop yesterday! Part biology lesson, part ‘yes Mommy really is sick, this is evidence’ not that they doubted, but he’s so matter of fact, he just carries on! 😆 They are 15 and 13, so it wasn’t torture and they could have told him to take a flying leap. I wondered about it, but seriously, what if they were home alone with me one day and I had a fecal accident. It hasn’t happened yet, but it might. They will be a lot more prepared, and just thankful it is a normal colour!

That’s probably enough rambling from me today. Make sure you reach out to someone you love today. December can be cold and lonely.

 

I’m Sick

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I guess I’m sick, I think. It’s tough to tell anymore. Last night the nausea got so intense I couldn’t even take my medication.  I just swallowed some Gravol and eventually went to sleep. I only refunded a little bit. I’ve been sitting around watching lame TV, as I can’t be arsed to find something great. Actually, Family Guy and John Tucker Must Die isn’t bad. I watched it yesterday.

I just popped two more Gravol, as my husband came to check on me, he hand fed me. How pathetic am I? Today is even chocolate chip pancakes day.

My neck and back are incredibly sore. I want to vape, but I’m too nauseated, I feel if I move an inch, I will be in big trouble. We keep an old cooking pot as a barf bucket, so it doesn’t matter if I can’t move fast. But I hate it. I should be used to it. Not only am I a puker in general, I have a past rife with bulimia.

I’ve been shopping. I’m bored and hungry and feeling sorry for myself. I just bought some Unicorn Snot! 😄 it’s glitter gel for face, body and hair, but also a lip gloss formula. I’m excited. That will be fun to play with. I bought some loose pigment and mixing medium from MAC, I don’t shop there much, and an eyeliner from Sephora.  I purchased a couple of cute boxes from Amazon, too. I have great toys to play with, now I just need the energy to play.

My husband has been on the phone most of the weekend in meetings. He’s working so hard.

I am scared because my nausea has been fluctuating with my neck and head pain. I had a weird experience this morning where I was asleep, I think, but I experienced these bright flashes of light, excruciating pain and a sound like an explosion, and then the pain would subside. It happened twice, maybe three times? And I either fell asleep or into a deeper sleep. It was horrible. But was it a dream?

I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t think the hospital is the right place. I don’t think they can take the time to figure this out. Although the can ensure its not an urgent issue, I suppose. My GP would send me somewhere, and ask me for suggestions, so he’s really not much good. My pain doctor I’m seeing in a month, so I just need to hang on. The Clinic is supposed to be on the radar, but I haven’t heard from them. My options I’m considering are calling Tele health and asking for advice, although they usually send you to hospital.  Then, I could call my pain doctor or the evil social worker and ask for advice. I could at least have assurance I’ve been referred.

I should have a bath, although I just don’t feel like it. I can’t now.

Be well, Zebras! 😷