Check-in

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Hi there! I’m pretty sure I am still alive, but the days and nights are blurring together, and I don’t know where I am, (ha! I’m in my bed, duh!) Or what I am doing. (Either wrapping presents or sleeping. I may be doing both.)

The past 10? days have been strange. I have been incredibly ill. I am so exhausted I don’t know which way is up. I have been existing on what my husband (I presume) has been leaving for me. Brie and crackers, mostly. They are the only things that stay down.  I haven’t seen my husband much. I did force myself awake this morning to speak with him. (Plus, I creaked open one eye and he was running around in his cutest boxer briefs, yay eye candy!) I must be feeling slightly better!

I was to be seeing my cannabis doctor today, but I can’t. Short of a stretcher, I am not in any condition to be going anywhere. My prescription runs out mid-January, so I do have some time, but I need husband to be able to take me there. They have grown fond of him at work. Problematic. Now, the doctor has a remote program I may qualify for, if you’re sick enough, and if you remember last time I went I was forced to walk due to construction and sobbed through my appointment. They have also started a VIP program for $300 per year, which has something to do with remote appointments, but the info was vague, and my husband was the first to call, so… I am not thrilled about two tiered medicine. I am very thrilled we could afford $300 a year, if that is right. It goes with my husband being so beloved – and he wouldn’t have to take a full day off. He could work from home, and take just however long for the appointment. Such a relief for our family.  (Yes, I am aware this makes the doctors sound sketchy, I think they are on par, frankly. Are they money hungry? Hell, yes!)

I feel terrible I haven’t seen much of my kids, but I have been getting up every morning when my alarm goes off during the week at 6 am, and weekends at 9, but I was up around 8. I have seen my daughter during the week, and my son on the weekend, so not much has changed. They’re teens. Always stuff going on. I always want to spend more time.

In Aquatic news, one of our Elder Pleco died yesterday. We are quite upset. However, downstairsn, it seems we have our second litter of bushynose pleco! We didn’t intend to have them breed, but, here they are!

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I found this hilarious, I am tempted!

 

From my favourite advice column:

Not an Act

Prudie advises a letter writer who constantly gets questioned about her disability.

Mallory Ortberg, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers. An edited transcript of the chat is below. (Read Prudie’s Slate columns here. Send questions to Prudence at prudence@slate.com.)

Readers! Ask me your questions on the voicemail of the Dear Prudence podcast. Just leave a message at 401-371-DEAR (3327), and you may hear your question answered on a future episode of the show.

Q. Not faking it: I am currently disabled. I’ve worked my way up to being up and about for an hour to two each day. Whenever I go out, people say the oddest things to me. Today, when I parked my car, a man came up and said suspiciously, “You don’t look disabled.” I said I just had surgery and rushed away. This happens almost any time I use my handicapped tag. Friends will tell me that I don’t look sick, or that I look great, and then take it personally when I say that I can’t go out for long or go to events. One of my best friends today asked if I had just tried increasing my pain tolerance. I never know how to respond, and knowing that these interactions are coming makes me anxious about leaving my apartment. What can I say to strangers who confront me about my disability, and to friends who don’t get it?

A: This will hopefully serve as a reminder to all readers that not every disability is immediately visible, and that it’s not the job of the general public to monitor people with handicapped placards for signs that they “really” need them. You don’t owe strangers a damn thing, much less an explanation, and I’m so sorry that so many people have taken it upon themselves to demand one of you. Feel enormously free to ignore them.

Getting this sort of treatment from your friends seems so much more painful. I cannot imagine why your friend would say something as amazingly stupid as, “Have you tried just feeling less pain?” That’s worth revisiting, especially since you say this person is one of your best friends. This is not something you can simply decide to ignore, and your friend should apologize for suggesting you just “get over” something like chronic pain. I hope there are people in your life who understand that you are dealing with a new reality, and who are looking for ways to demonstrate their care and support, rather than demand when you’re going to “get better.”

 

 

I am thrilled I get to miss the in-laws Christmas again this year, as I always get treated with suspicion. The first 7? Years of my disability leave my SIL would ask if I was working yet? Although, I have thouroughly explained my illness to my parents, and my Mother has asked me 3 times if I am coming up for Christmas.

I do hope you are having a wonderful holiday season if you are celebrating!

We celebrate Christmas, and I am currently trying to wrap what I can day by day. My sister is coming to visit, she has been teaching English in China, and I haven’t seen her in a couple of years. She will be here after the holiday. I have no idea when, but hey – all will be revealed.

I’m desperately trying to rest up. Taking my vitamins. Staying warm, Husband knows he will get sick as soon as he stops.

Ok. I am exhausted. That was far longer than intended, but good to share.

Sending lots of love and light!

Jalopnik: Calgary Airport Replaces Handicapped Spots With ‘Lexus Only’ Parking

Jalopnik: Calgary Airport Replaces Handicapped Spots With ‘Lexus Only’ Parking. http://google.com/newsstand/s/CBIwtLzV5jU

Now, if they were giving every person needing accessible space a Lexus…

I’m Sick

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I guess I’m sick, I think. It’s tough to tell anymore. Last night the nausea got so intense I couldn’t even take my medication.  I just swallowed some Gravol and eventually went to sleep. I only refunded a little bit. I’ve been sitting around watching lame TV, as I can’t be arsed to find something great. Actually, Family Guy and John Tucker Must Die isn’t bad. I watched it yesterday.

I just popped two more Gravol, as my husband came to check on me, he hand fed me. How pathetic am I? Today is even chocolate chip pancakes day.

My neck and back are incredibly sore. I want to vape, but I’m too nauseated, I feel if I move an inch, I will be in big trouble. We keep an old cooking pot as a barf bucket, so it doesn’t matter if I can’t move fast. But I hate it. I should be used to it. Not only am I a puker in general, I have a past rife with bulimia.

I’ve been shopping. I’m bored and hungry and feeling sorry for myself. I just bought some Unicorn Snot! 😄 it’s glitter gel for face, body and hair, but also a lip gloss formula. I’m excited. That will be fun to play with. I bought some loose pigment and mixing medium from MAC, I don’t shop there much, and an eyeliner from Sephora.  I purchased a couple of cute boxes from Amazon, too. I have great toys to play with, now I just need the energy to play.

My husband has been on the phone most of the weekend in meetings. He’s working so hard.

I am scared because my nausea has been fluctuating with my neck and head pain. I had a weird experience this morning where I was asleep, I think, but I experienced these bright flashes of light, excruciating pain and a sound like an explosion, and then the pain would subside. It happened twice, maybe three times? And I either fell asleep or into a deeper sleep. It was horrible. But was it a dream?

I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t think the hospital is the right place. I don’t think they can take the time to figure this out. Although the can ensure its not an urgent issue, I suppose. My GP would send me somewhere, and ask me for suggestions, so he’s really not much good. My pain doctor I’m seeing in a month, so I just need to hang on. The Clinic is supposed to be on the radar, but I haven’t heard from them. My options I’m considering are calling Tele health and asking for advice, although they usually send you to hospital.  Then, I could call my pain doctor or the evil social worker and ask for advice. I could at least have assurance I’ve been referred.

I should have a bath, although I just don’t feel like it. I can’t now.

Be well, Zebras! 😷