Things Aren’t Happy

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This gif reminds me there is no one missing from our family. Things aren’t quite so dire. There are always people who are more in need than we are. We should remember them, at this time, and at all times. Drop someone a note. It really will make their day.

However, on to my tale of woe! 🤣 The past few days I have been sleeping. Waking occaionally to vomit. Yesterday, I was well enough to watch tv with my daughter, and had to use the washroom. Oy! Pardon the grossness, but I pooped a Christmas tree! I was vomiting, thank goodness my husband was working from home, I had my daughter rescue him from a conference call – I honestly thought it was hospital time. Now, I used to have problems with constipation.  So bad that I would have to take an injection to reverse the opiods so I could go. I was going everyday this week! I didn’t eat, though, much. So strange. I feel horrible still. I am hoping things improve. It sounds like the flu, right? Nah, just more intense version of my everyday. I’m cold, hot and I can’t stop shaking.

As for Christmas gifts, we celebrate Christmas, I have been ordering things, but I don’t remember what I bought for who or what. I haven’t maxed out my card, so we seem to be okay, but the boxes that are arriving? There’s a lot! What have I done? What do I need to wrap? Oh God help me. Next week will be brutal.

I have managed to escape the in-laws Christmas dinner. My husband has finally gotten across I’m too ill. My MIL understands, apparently, because we share symptoms. No, it doesnt bother me she’s 85. 🙄 However, she used to scream at my husband for helping me in any way. It’s best if I sit it out. It’s an hour each way. I can’t do it. My mother asked me if I was coming for Christmas. Even after I explained. They live an hour and 20 away. I wish people got this, ya know. LISTEN!

I wish I could stop obsessing about where my friends have disappeared to. I realize it’s the holidays, and I don’t expect to hear from people now, but… yeah. It’s pretty lonely here. I wish I was much more of an introvert. I need to work on this. I bought some therapy journals, and I hope they provide some distraction.

I’m working on getting some doctors working on these issues. Well, my husband is. It is not going well. I was rejected by one doctor because I have not been diagnosed with Chrohn’s disease. So new GI, go through the waiting list. I’m burping almost constantly, even water is painful to drink, and I have a huge pain the size of my fist on the right side that hurts when food moves around that bend. I’ve had it checked out gynecologically six ways, so we are confident it’s a GI thing.

This weekend, I think we try to put up the tree. I hope the minions can get it done. My kids are stuggling pretty hard with school. But they deserve privacy.

My husband actually showed them my Christmas tree poop yesterday! Part biology lesson, part ‘yes Mommy really is sick, this is evidence’ not that they doubted, but he’s so matter of fact, he just carries on! 😆 They are 15 and 13, so it wasn’t torture and they could have told him to take a flying leap. I wondered about it, but seriously, what if they were home alone with me one day and I had a fecal accident. It hasn’t happened yet, but it might. They will be a lot more prepared, and just thankful it is a normal colour!

That’s probably enough rambling from me today. Make sure you reach out to someone you love today. December can be cold and lonely.

 

I should nap…

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I don’t feel good. I don’t really feel sick, either. I’m cold and tired, uncomfortable, and out of sorts. I’m nauseated, and was sick to my stomach yesterday. My son was home sick on Tuesday, but he felt vaguely unwell. Up and around after a few hours.

So, could be the flu, or it could be a regular thing that happens where my digestive system gets wonky for a couple of days. Weird.

I’m going to isolate myself and probably nap until I feel better – likely sometime tomorrow. I will probably be less cranky. I am only cranky because I’m not going to sleep like a silly.

Anyway, I will go do that, catch you in a bit.

I’m a Badass!

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I survived my Botox injections yesterday. My regular doctor did them and started with the migraine portion and went down my neck and down my spine and back, to my bottom, and back up thru the other side. I then flip over and we start on the front. When he reaches my abdomen is usually when my screaming starts. It hurts so much.  After, I calm down fairly easily.

My husband is always looking after me. He’s so caring.

After, we spoke with the doctor.  Cleared some things up. We made another follow-up appointment. For October.  Right before our 16th wedding anniversary.

We headed to the car, well, the lobby, hubby picked me up. The dentist was ready for me, so we headed straight there. Skipped lunch. Had my crown repaired. X-rays, no cavities! In fact, no extra work to be done. Mold for mouth guards (2) because if I drop one, and it’s inaccessible, I can’t go to sleep until someone is home to rescue me. And with my hands becoming fumblier and fumblier, it just makes sense.

I had to crawl up the stairs to bed, but I made it.

I need to return on the 30th June to fit the mouth guards and finish the cleaning he started. What a treat!

That’s the short version. I will get you the long version soon, as it’s pretty funny, but I’m really tired and the back of my head and neck are killing me!

Be well, my Zebras! 😘

Bedtime Tidbits

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Have you ever had that sensation where you’re in bed, I’m usually staring at my tablet, and suddenly I have no idea what time of day or night it is. I have no idea if I should be getting up or going to sleep. Probably a me thing.

I spent another day sleeping. I started out having a normal day, then playing, but I got my foundation on and realized I was just too tired and dizzy.

Last night, husband and I were fighting to stay awake from 9:00. Our son wasn’t in bed and was pulling the ‘I can’t sleep’ but you’ve only been in bed for five minutes….routine. We were probably asleep by 10.

I said to my husband this morning I was finally rested enough to go to bed. I was just at the point where I could settle down, cuddle up and chat for a while, only to drift off blissfully.

So I did that this afternoon. Only alone! I’m still too tired to partner up again. Which is fine, there’s stuff going on, I’m just worn out today. It’s raining, that seems to have something to do with it.

I hope you enjoyed this bonus episode!

Stumbling Around in the Light

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Good God I’m tired. I woke up this morning feeling well. I had energy. I made plans! I finished my vaping and decided to call my Mom as I hadn’t called her in ages. Halfway through the call, I lost all my energy. It just disappeared. I was so disappointed.  I had planned to do some fun makeup things, prep for Instagram and my Beauty Blog. It was not meant to be. I ended up trying to cry, but I was too tired to produce tears.

I had another three hour nap this afternoon. I put on some golf to listen to, and was out.

So I’m currently sitting amongst makeup detritus, waiting for my husband to come to bed so we can snuggle and I can go to sleep again.

I picked up a phone message yesterday and it seems my gastroenterologist from hell retired at the end of March. Everyone knew this but me, apparently, I guess I was trying too hard to stay upright I didn’t see the signs posted in the office, and husband didn’t mention it. I’m annoyed and relieved. It explains why he gave no fucks. Likely why he wasn’t interested in a long term patient. Let’s start over, shall we? Sounds like fun.

I have so much to do, so much to say, stuff to do, and zero energy. Ugh.

Is there such a thing as like medicinal energy drinks? Medicinal meth? In my day it was cocaine I guess. I was thinking, what speeds you up? Speed?  Lol. I’m soo into drug culture, can you tell? I had a friend who used to show up with pot in high school. Perfect with the pain of my menstrual cramps, we now know I have endometriosis, but that’s all the unprescribed drugs I took. I can feel crappy all on my own.

One Facebook friend? had a status today that read 90% of illness is emotionally related. 😂😂😂

I read one of those anecdote collection of medical stories, and it told of this one student who was sitting behind another student who pulled out a bottle of Tylenol and counted out 8 pills and went to swallow them before he stopped her and asked what she was doing. She said her pain was at an 8, so she was taking 8 tablets. That’s why doctors ask you to rate your pain out of 10, right? 😮 Scary.

Okay. I’m worn out. My hands are feeling good from all the rest, they’re just cold! 🙂

Have a lovely evening, my Zebras! 😘

 

Seriously?

Just trust me Go here and read this article. This guy thinks women can glue their labia together and it will stop menstrual flow. Uh huh.

Painsomnia got me. I’m so annoyed that I can’t really talk to my doctor about this until I see him in June. I see him before this for my Botox treatment on April 4th. But we don’t have the time to lay it on the line and really go through it all. Maybe I should bottom line everything in a post, even for myself. I have a couple of options, as I see it.

  • I can douse myself with sleeping pills, take my breakthrough pills, sacrifice my steadiness for a bit of loopiness, see if that helps.
  • Or I can call his nurse, who is kind of brusque and see what she advises.
  • Suck it up and quit complaining
  • Whine and complain until I’m friendless and on my own.

I don’t like number four very much, and I’m not very good at holding my tongue, so three is out. I think I will start with one, and progress to two. I took a breakthrough dose of my pain meds and it did nothing, since I am allowed two I will try another, it’s been over three hours! I suspect the nurse would suggest the breakthrough meds first, anyway.

My back hurts so much I can’t sleep. I just want to cry. I don’t even know what to do to make it stop. I keep thinking heat, but that makes me wince. I can’t even be still.

Since sleep is useless, I’m going to work on a pain inventory page for the blog. I think it will help.

I hope sleep is not eluding you, fellow zebras! (Respecting time zone differences of course!) 😘

 

My Life as a Spoonie

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I go through these periods where I am just exhausted all the time. It happened yesterday. I lay down for two hours. Slept right through my alarm, and my family woke me up at 7:00 to have cake. Mmmm cake! There is an illness called Sleeping Beauty Syndrome. I’ve often wondered if I have a variant of it.

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Cake!

My day typically looks like this:

  • Wake up at 6:00 am, hit the snooze for half an hour.
  • 6:30, washroom
  • Answer any questions or comments on Instagram and post until 7:00.
  • 7:00 am take medication. 13 pills. One mouthful.
  • Post on my Beauty Blog usually until 9:00 am.
  • Between 7 and 9 am, have coffee and oatmeal delivered by husband and daughter, coax son into going to school, monitor progress by text, and monitor daughter’s progress by text.
  • 9:00 am vape marijuana. While perusing Facebook and catching up with friends. Talking on phone, reading email, texting husband. Online shopping.
  • 11:00 start thinking about the EDS Chronicles.
  • 12:00 lunch and blogging. Lunch has been left for me by my husband. 1 oz of Lactose free cheese and some gluten-free crackers. I hate eating. I have cookies, too.
  • 1:00 my post is usually up, lunch is done. Here is where I either nap for a couple of hours or do something else. If the pain is bad, I sleep. I try to play with stuff for Instagram or my Beauty Blog. I want to read, too. But my concentration has been awful.
  • 3:00 Dr. Phil. I watch the first five minutes, call him a quack and tune out. Time for pills.
  • 4:00 sometimes my boy comes up and watches the Simpsons with me.
  • 6:00 is pill time.
  • 6:30 Husband is usually home around now. I’m still stuck in bed. Daughter rules downstairs, she just feels like she needs her space, and it’s so uncomfortable for me, so tough to get down there, it’s not worth it.
  • Between 8:00 and 9:00 I get the pictures for the next day ready.
  • Husband comes to bed around 9:00 and we have time together. It’s also melatonin time and time for marijuana oil.
  • 10:00 last pills of the day. I usually read a few last articles and then put my arm brace, mouth guard, and CPAP on and by 10:30 I’m out.

It’s been good not sleeping as much. I used to sleep all day almost every day. I was afraid I would never get enough rest. But I was tired all the time, anyway. This is different, though. This morning, I woke up and I couldn’t uncurl. I couldn’t straighten up. My abdominal pain is just so bad. My back pain. Maybe I’m having a childbirth flashback? 😂 since it was my daughter’s birthday yesterday!

I pause a lot for rest and breaks in everything I do. I have cramps, my hands hurt. Things work out if I work to my limit and go slowly, but all it takes is one day to mess it up. One day where I want to go out. Then I am in bed for a week. I can’t do anything. In fact, I’m feeling the strain of the other blog. I’m just having so much fun, though. Why can’t I keep anything?

I’m supposed to meet my friend tomorrow.  I hope she’s okay hanging here. I’m hurty. I’m still going to try to bathe. I have a sore on my hip. I find I get them even if I’m clean. It’s from skin rubbing together, right? They smell awful. I have cream. Ugh. I don’t have a lot of hanging skin from losing weight, but when stuck in bed, you get squished a lot.

My husband was super sweet the other day. I nearly had a conniption because Shoppers Drug Mart, a drugstore here in Canada, is now carrying Pixi Beauty! It’s a super high end drugstore, without high prices. It’s amazing. Anyway, we were having an ice storm here in Toronto, and they had stopped the streetcars, so he had walked partway from work, feeling terrible because he’s on steroids for his eyes, and he stops at the store whilst waiting for the bus and texts me asking what I want. So we settle on quite a few things,

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What darling husband bought for me $124 CDN

After the excursion, and he at first found the makeup, and he persevered and found the skincare, he just missed the bus and had to wait 30 minutes for another. What a sweetheart. He needs to do so much for me. Like cooking my dinner. Bringing it to me. Getting my clothes out for me when I go out. I don’t know what I would do without him. He’s also my very best friend. Imagine that!

I was too tired to eat dinner last night. I had just woken up from a nap, and I was still too tired. My back is killing me.

My husband had glaucoma and cataracts last year and needed surgery. He’s only 48. He’s had a bad infection that started before the surgery, they had it under control with steroids, but as soon as he went off them, it came back. Now he’s on super strong steroids and doesn’t feel well. He was complaining he didn’t like the general feeling of unwellness and achiness all the time. I just looked at him and he apologised! I laughed. It’s fine. It isn’t fun. Poor guy.

Be well, my zebras! 😘