Resolutions

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One of the resolutions I made for this new year is to be more disciplined in my blogging. I have been very lacksidasical lately, and I don’t like that. Otherwise, my resolutions are month by month, as I did last year. I have most of them laid out, but need to get back to it. January is supposed to be for rest and relaxation, so maybe I’m doing just fine. February is when I crack the whip.

This week was rife with doctor appointments. Last Sunday I met with my cannabis doctor. This was a video call. It was amazing. I was able to talk without crying. He was so nice! He told me I shouldn’t skip any doses and not to short myself. I don’t like the feeling of being loopy, but I’m in so much pain right now, I can’t argue. I have come to some realization about why I’m so leery of being out of control or out of it on medication, but it’s family stuff, and I don’t feel comfortable sharing. However, I  should be able to work through it better now that I know I have a hang-up.

Monday, I had two appointments next door to each other, so I saw my gynecologist first, no big deal. Just a check in to see how I was. Then we had some time so my husband wheeled me around a bit, and we found a Manchu Wok! I haven’t had mall food in years, so I had some… so yummy! Even though I was steadily eating pain pills, by the time we got to the sleep specialist, I was in tears from pain. I got out my story, but she can’t really give me anything but what she has, and she says they are for ‘normal’ people. So I need another doctor. And because I’m crying, I need a psychiatrist. No, I’m in pain. Trust.

But, after that, I decide I’m getting my flu shot because we were there. So we go, but I didn’t count on having to wait under the speakers blasting horrendous music for 45 minutes. Why do they make it so loud? And if it’s so loud, why is it so bad? Then two ladies notice my distress, they were those weird ladies, too. The ones that are really big on top, but have really skinny legs and bums? And they always have feathered hair, and they wear big sweaters that never cover said tiny bums? Anyway, they noticed my distress, so they come over and start singing loudly and tap their feet right beside me and crack up. Lovely. I loathe people.

The next couple of days I just flaked. I did some organizing around here, because it really is one of my favorite things to do. Played with some makeup. Found my contact lenses. I don’t like being loopy, but I sure am in a better mood!

So, Friday. I call my Grandmother. Light of my life. She’s my world. Everything is good.

Then I decide to call an old friend I had been neglecting. Mistake. He starts going on this rant about how I need to find better doctors and I’m too young to be lying in bed all day. I just need to find the doctor who will cure me. I take too many pills. Blah blah. Then: All teenagers think their parents are stupid ergo mine think we are stupid. No amount of conversation would help. Because this wasn’t a conversation, it was a rant. So I started crying and said goodbye. That’s another thing, I’m not going to hide my emotions anymore. Why bother? If I end up just me and my family anyways, people need to know if I am hurt, offended or amused.

My grand total for last year was 4 visitors, including my sister and brother in law, and two social outings. If you count my two day conference as two, then it is three social outings. Not that I didn’t try much harder. I had three more engagements where I was … ditched? Anyway, no worries. Let us see what this year brings.

Happy 2018!

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The new year is starting off pretty well. The EDS Clinic called yesterday and notified me of a cancellation. My appointment has now moved from April 5, to February 22! Yay!

My sister was here to visit for a couple of days. She is 20180104_080853.jpgteaching English in Beijing with her husband. I haven’t seen them in two years. Of course, I was just getting over that flu/flare-up I was dealing with, so we just sat in my bed and chatted, but it was freezing here in Toronto, and most of North America, so going out wasn’t high on the list.

My sister brought me so much cool stuff! I will show you some over the next little while. I didn’t think of this until now, and loading photos after text is nigh impossible if you are slower than Usain Bolt. 😐

I am kind of glad the holidays are over. I love Christmas so very much. It is my favourite time of year. I love buying gifts and the family get togethers and being with everyone. I love the cold weather and being indoors and snuggly! This year was wonderful, however I ate all the bad foods and I am so uncomfortable. I am constipated and have horrible acid reflux. Oh, fodmap! I run back into your arms! My skin is all broken out – which rarely happens, so I know I need to get back to my regimen. To think, some toffee can cause such havoc!

I have an appointment at home with my cannabis doctor on the weekend. They are charging $75 per visit, which is only slightly more than taxi fare which is about $60 round trip. Driving is out of the question, as my husband would have to park blocks away, I don’t drive. I’m too wobbly to park and escort, and there is no place to leave me in the lobby… this works much better. I get so sick in the car as well. Then on Monday, I see my gynecologist and my sleep doctor. They are in buildings right next door to each other.  I’m going to be tired!

Both my sister and my husband helped me clear out the clothes that don’t fit anymore. I have a few more to go, because I have kept everything as I have changed sizes, but not anymore. I will buy new if I change again. I have kept a few oversize things, but I feel like I have stabilized. I haven’t weighed myself all month until yesterday and I have only gained five pounds, but within my range – it’s probably waste material, anyway. I don’ t fuss as long as I am in my range – within 10 lbs.

I was supposed to see my sleep doctor if I lost or gained 20 lbs. I use a CPAP machine, when I went on it I was on a huge dose of narcotics, and since I have lost 120 lbs and decreased my dose of that medication by a lot, so this doctor will be surprised. I wonder if I still need the CPAP?

Wishing you all the best in 2018!