Gurgle

giphy6

I slept until 3:00 this afternoon.  I woke to my husband stumbling into the bedroom declaring he just had a nap! This may be the first nap he has ever taken as an adult.

On Friday I was waiting for Pat McGrath’s lipstick collection to drop at noon, and at 11:45, I started vomiting. I managed to buy some lipstick, but then took a nap. Saturday, I was just as gross, and I finally figured out I may have the flu. Considering my daughter has it, and likely my husband does, and my son has been feeling awful… I just may be a genius. There’s been a nasty flu going around here, and my daughter has been having trouble since before school started. She’s either had it twice, or had an extended remix.

My mom was so sweet, she sent me some money on Friday to buy a treat to cheer myself up. From both her and dad. So sweet.

It was tough, but I had to put my Beauty Blog on hiatus until October 5th. I just don’t have the spoons to keep up with it right now. I’m so sad, because it’s one of my favourite things. I’m hoping the neurologist has a theory and I’m feeling better. I would like some answers and a plan.

When I can’t even do the small things, it’s a problem.

I need joy. To be able to supply joy. And I’m not even talking about sex. I’m so many layers below sex, you can’t even imagine. I have about ten layers to go before I even can think about sex.

On this level is bathing, reading, amusing myself, sitting up, and taking my medications. Not just staring into space.

Sigh.

💜

Rough Night.

giphy8

I have been having horrible abdominal cramps the past couple of weeks. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis in 1989. It was originally thought to be the source of my pain. I have been fine since I had my kids, mostly due to the Mirena. I’m on number 3, and am on year 2 I believe, so nothing should be wrong. I haven’t had any spotting. In fact, it had been working miraculously in helping me with cramps.

Over the past week, I’ve had discharge as if I was ovulating, (that’s one thing about chronic illness, being really in tune with your body. I knew exactly when I was ovulating, which made pregnancy a snap). The cramps were slightly menstrual-like, but more sustained ovulation-like. Mittelsmertz, if you will. Yesterday I was so distracted I even forgot my medication all day!

I went to bed early, I was generally uncomfortable. My head is hurting at the back. Around midnight I woke up screaming with intense abdominal cramping. Did I have a cyst burst? It was just on the right side. The pain lasted almost 20 minutes with me just babble scream-moaning for that time. It eventually subsided, but I’m aching intensely this morning. It could be that I caught my ovary or twisted it a bit. Or a bit of adhesions ripping. It could be anything. Well, not anything. I don’t think it’s actually a hedgehog on a rampage. It just feels like it.

giphy9

This was under the gifs for Endometriosis.  I thought it completely appropriate.

I had a horrible time trying to sleep last night. I just couldn’t. I took extra meds, but it didn’t help. I read some junk on my tablet.

I have my makeup in stacked bins beside my bed. At 10:51 pm. The past two nights, a whole row has fallen over. 😮 spooky! I know my family has been in rough shape because we’ve all been in bed before 9:30 both nights.

I’m curled up in a ball, trying to amuse myself. I’m focusing on taking my meds, having some fun, and taking things a bit easy. I don’t know quite how this will play out. My gynecologist is part of the pain clinic, for the endo part anyway. I don’t have one for other stuff.

The BOTOX shots help a ton with any cramping or discomfort. I had forgotten how much pain this can cause.

My husband might just swaddle me and leave me at the emergency room. 🤣 Like he was giving up a newborn. What should the note say? Tag you’re It? She’s your problem now?  😈

My husband had no idea what to do, so he did nothing. I’m not exactly thrilled. We should probably have a discussion.

Another issue with my doctor being absent is he made a lovely compound for me, well, ordered, and I’m now gingerly using it. I don’t know if I can get it again. It has gabapentin and ketamine in it, it’s a lotion, and it’s unbelievable. It fixed my abdomen earlier. I don’t have another doctor for this.

It was upsetting when I mentioned my doctor situation on Facebook, people started speculating he was ‘up on charges’ that is such dangerous speculation. I took the post down. I wasn’t strong enough at the time. I’m still worried about his health.

Anyway, I need to rest. More soon.

Oh! I’m down to 188. This was the 20 lbs I was keeping for emergencies, remember? Heh. Oh well. Eating is hard. Nausea is pervasive. Heartburn is so often. Even though I’m on the max dose of medicine for it. I just rechecked the BMI charts, and I need to lose 15 more lbs and I’m normal weight. That blows my mind. I was certain I’d never lose this weight. I suppose I like being slim. I’m not so certain I like the attention from men. Wait. I like the respectful attention. I don’t like the disrespectful attention.

Ok, bit of rest now. 😊.

Army Day…March Fourth

jq6scenuuwy48

Ha ha! I told you I like wordplay. Today is going to be a quick post because I am feeling better than usual, and I want to play with my new makeup.

Something disturbing happened last night. My daughter had stayed home yesterday due to feeling unwell. She has been battling a flu for the past ten days or so, quite severe nausea. In fact, I wonder if some of the nausea I had been exacerbated by this bug. Anyway, she had approached me later that evening, after vomiting and confessed that she actually had severe menstrual pain and it was so severe it made her physically ill. She is very private, so she must have been suffering to share this with me. I am upset because I have a long history with Endometriosis, including five laparascopies, preparing for number six when I became pregnant the first time. There are a couple of arguments for this being a one-off on her side. She usually has only mild cramping, and her menses was delayed a week, likely due to the weight loss associated with the flu. She is very slight and had lost some weight, the stress could have delayed her, resulting in more cramps.

My own history includes Co workers finding me passed out under desks, curled up in break rooms and calling in from the ER. I had my appendix removed, as they were sure it was going to burst, as they couldn’t see it in the ultra sound. But no, my period started the next morning. That was the time I had the nurse who left me for two hours having to pee because I couldn’t get the bed rail down, and needed help walking then sneered at me “you’d better never need a c-section”. I shot back “I had a c-section last year and was up and around within hours, don’t give me that bullshit. It was at another hospital though, so…” yeah, I’ve never admitted that whole sentence before. I’m a bitch.

So, we wait for next month, hope she’s back to her normal and this was a one-off, and she doesn’t mind mummy blogging about her cramps. Heh. If not, we likely try the Naprosyn route, although her periods are not totally regular to the day, I am worried about her stomach. Another route is birth control pills.  She takes daily pills as it is, I don’t see why we shouldn’t add one. I started at the same age. And it’s  she has no interest in a relationship on any level, so it’s not like we’re saying go have sex. It’s ultimately up to her.

OK. Playtime!

Have a great day however you’re feeling, Zebra pals! 😘

The Daily Grind

img_0201

I was looking for baby photos of my daughter to post on Facebook to embarrass her, when I came across this one.  My daughter took this of me taking a Selfie,  because she thought my hands were hilarious. They do look pretty EDS-y. Is that a thing? You can see my index finger clearly showing swan neck deformity. This was taken October of 2015.

I found the makeup palette I was looking for. It was in the drawer beside my bed. I don’t often wear my glasses at home, so I sometimes don’t see things in front of my face. I swear I looked there, though! With my glasses and everything! I also promised my husband I would call and confirm his appointment with a sleep specialist. Promptly forgot. Sigh. He remembered and did it, though.

My son didn’t make it to school all week due to anxiety. I feel for him. Grade 7 is horrible. Aspergers is horrible on the downslope. On the upside, it can be beautiful. I kind of want to blog about this journey, but three is too many. Beauty will have to go. Not ready yet.

I’m scheduled to see my friend tonight and she sent me an email saying she’s ready, but she understands if I can’t make it. Which means she loves me, but she loves her bed, too. 😁 I completely get it! I asked if she would mind coming over and ordering in. She gets to see my family, always a treat. But it’s a quiet night. I hope it’s okay, because I don’t know if I can go out. I’m getting frightened of going out without my husband. Part because of ice, and part because of pain. My back is so sore, still. I can’t even really sit up very well. My abdomen, holy moly! I am having the worst cramps. Everything from under my breasts to my pelvis is just one knot of pain. I don’t even know how I’m typing right now. Distraction.

I wanted a bath last night, but my husband was working from home and just sent me to bed at 1:00. Once again, woke up at 6:30. But this time my stupid cable box wasn’t working. He wasn’t home yet, as he took our son to physio, but he worked on the TV thing when he got home. We need a technician now. It’s just my room, too. Boo.

Of course, because I slept so long yesterday I missed a dose of medications, and that can’t be good. I’m probably long past it now. I still want to curl up and sleep. I know if I take extra medication, it will knock me out anyway.

I’d better do something, or I’m going to eat all the cookies in the world…Likely check my social media then nap again.

Stay bendy, my zebras!