I’m a 10 out of 10

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You know you’re gearing up for a migraine when you lecture a stranger in your dream for wearing too much perfume. I even gave her the speech on the proper distance you should be from someone before you first detect it. I was quite thorough. The proper distance, by the way, is conversational distance. That is where you should first detect someone else’s fragrance.  None of this where they walk into the establishment and you can taste it before you even see the person nonsense.

Anyway, I tried to play with makeup yesterday, but the migraine started creeping up. I continued, because it had been over a week! I played for a bit, then finally had a nap. Slept from 1 pm until 8:30 pm when my husband came to bed. I was so restless and uncomfortable.  I couldn’t settle my stomach. I didn’t have anything solid yesterday except for oatmeal for breakfast.

I couldn’t sleep last night, I was just awake, restless. I keep trying. I’d dissolve into tears every once in a while, the pain was so bad, and then it would dissipate. Then ramp up. Ugh. I would lie there, just trying to be still, trying to distract myself. Reading cat memes. Reading long form news stories.

I was supposed to have Botox injections for migraine and for pain management on August 22-ish.  Since then the migraines are back, I’ve had my first period in fourteen years, (Mirena) and I’m wracked with pain.

I have not heard back from the pain clinic. Realistically, it’s been 3 weeks? I think? It feels like an eternity. I feel like most of the pain right now is in the back of my head, whatever we are dealing with there. One month until my neurologist appointment.

It’s also been close enough to a month that I believe it is time to start harassing the EDS clinic again. I think we shall do those things, see where that leads us.

I’m interested to see if I have a period next month. The question: was the Botox contributing to my lack of menses? How? Dunno. Correlation does not equal causation yeah yeah. We will see.

Let’s tackle one thing at a time. I will certainly bring it up at the EDS clinic, I don’t know if they have a GYN on staff, but I will ask for a referral straight away, as well as for a gastroenterologist, as that doesn’t seem to be happening either.

Happily, however, my stomach seems to have settled and I no longer feel like throwing up my toenails. Yay Gravol!

Short term, I don’t seem to be sleepy. Or I am already dead. I occasionally find a comfy spot and all is happy for a while, so things aren’t terrible. I’m going to focus on medicating myself today, listening to podcasts, and maybe tv if I can. Tonight I’m definitely taking a sleeping pill, and back to that if I need to.

I was thinking of a warm bath, but moving…

I can do a month! Right?

And however long the EDS clinic takes…

💜

 

 

Rough Night.

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I have been having horrible abdominal cramps the past couple of weeks. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis in 1989. It was originally thought to be the source of my pain. I have been fine since I had my kids, mostly due to the Mirena. I’m on number 3, and am on year 2 I believe, so nothing should be wrong. I haven’t had any spotting. In fact, it had been working miraculously in helping me with cramps.

Over the past week, I’ve had discharge as if I was ovulating, (that’s one thing about chronic illness, being really in tune with your body. I knew exactly when I was ovulating, which made pregnancy a snap). The cramps were slightly menstrual-like, but more sustained ovulation-like. Mittelsmertz, if you will. Yesterday I was so distracted I even forgot my medication all day!

I went to bed early, I was generally uncomfortable. My head is hurting at the back. Around midnight I woke up screaming with intense abdominal cramping. Did I have a cyst burst? It was just on the right side. The pain lasted almost 20 minutes with me just babble scream-moaning for that time. It eventually subsided, but I’m aching intensely this morning. It could be that I caught my ovary or twisted it a bit. Or a bit of adhesions ripping. It could be anything. Well, not anything. I don’t think it’s actually a hedgehog on a rampage. It just feels like it.

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This was under the gifs for Endometriosis.  I thought it completely appropriate.

I had a horrible time trying to sleep last night. I just couldn’t. I took extra meds, but it didn’t help. I read some junk on my tablet.

I have my makeup in stacked bins beside my bed. At 10:51 pm. The past two nights, a whole row has fallen over. 😮 spooky! I know my family has been in rough shape because we’ve all been in bed before 9:30 both nights.

I’m curled up in a ball, trying to amuse myself. I’m focusing on taking my meds, having some fun, and taking things a bit easy. I don’t know quite how this will play out. My gynecologist is part of the pain clinic, for the endo part anyway. I don’t have one for other stuff.

The BOTOX shots help a ton with any cramping or discomfort. I had forgotten how much pain this can cause.

My husband might just swaddle me and leave me at the emergency room. 🤣 Like he was giving up a newborn. What should the note say? Tag you’re It? She’s your problem now?  😈

My husband had no idea what to do, so he did nothing. I’m not exactly thrilled. We should probably have a discussion.

Another issue with my doctor being absent is he made a lovely compound for me, well, ordered, and I’m now gingerly using it. I don’t know if I can get it again. It has gabapentin and ketamine in it, it’s a lotion, and it’s unbelievable. It fixed my abdomen earlier. I don’t have another doctor for this.

It was upsetting when I mentioned my doctor situation on Facebook, people started speculating he was ‘up on charges’ that is such dangerous speculation. I took the post down. I wasn’t strong enough at the time. I’m still worried about his health.

Anyway, I need to rest. More soon.

Oh! I’m down to 188. This was the 20 lbs I was keeping for emergencies, remember? Heh. Oh well. Eating is hard. Nausea is pervasive. Heartburn is so often. Even though I’m on the max dose of medicine for it. I just rechecked the BMI charts, and I need to lose 15 more lbs and I’m normal weight. That blows my mind. I was certain I’d never lose this weight. I suppose I like being slim. I’m not so certain I like the attention from men. Wait. I like the respectful attention. I don’t like the disrespectful attention.

Ok, bit of rest now. 😊.

Improvements in this Crisis

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I had a very good day yesterday, considering. I feel like I’m getting the hang of this, even though I really would rather it go away entirely.

I even had the chance to play with makeup. It isn’t a huge deal, but I had a good time. Took some nice photos. The Becca x  Chrissy Teigen palette is really great!

It seems I have a good few hours in the morning, from when I get up at 6 until 9, and then I need to rest, preferably lying on my side, and then I have a bit more time, after my vape. But then I need to nap. On my left side for sure for at least three or four hours. Then I can semi sit up for a couple more, the rest of the evening is spent alternating between lying on my side and trying to sit up or be propped up on pillows. I get somewhat dizzy being propped up, but I don’t want to give in too easily, I want to heal, yes, but I want to develop tolerance as well.

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I still am quite nauseated, but it’s diminishing. The back of my head is very tender. It makes me think this is more to do with my skull fracture of 1992. I just have a feeling. I don’t have the headache I did, but I have a lot of pressure that builds along my jaw around the back of my head that builds where a headache would be. It’s very strange.

The good news is, I’m more comfortable, at any rate. I’m still not certain what will come of this, if this continues, I will just hang on until I see my pain guy next month. My short-term memory is shit, but I will just lay fairly low until then. Try to not embarrass myself. Too badly.

Have a wonderful Wednesday, Zebras! 😘

I Need a Reboot

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I was feeling pretty okay today, considering it’s just less than a week before my Botox, and traditionally I’m feeling rough the week to ten days before that appointment. Usually I’m as I was at the beginning of the week, exhausted, unable to move much, napping a lot. Just generally miserable and in pain. It seems the mmj adjustment is helping. I felt a lot better today, and was able to distract myself with the makeup blog and some looks. I didn’t even exhaust myself. My neck was very sore, and my head hurt, but I didn’t think about it.

One thing that disturbs me is in took some photos for Instagram the other day, and I was very tired. When I looked at the photos, my eyes were the aligned. I looked at more photos and you can see the more tired I am, the worker my eyes are. These were bad, though. I will bring it up to my eye doctor when I see him in a couple of weeks.

After I relaxed for today, my husband took our son to therapy. I had dinner, daughter is downstairs at her homework, when all of a sudden I had a cramp in my lower right quadrant that took my breath away. And then another. It’s like some invisible toddler is stabbing me. I have no idea what is happening, but it’s painful. Since my pot doctor said to vape, I’m vaping. The intensity of the pain might actually send me to the hospital if I thought they would know what to do with me. It’s not my appendix. I don’t have a fever, chances are good it’s not something acute, most likely something ripping. An adhesion? But things can change, so husband is aware.

Of course, since my husband had the winter tires taken off the car yesterday, we are in the midst of a spring blizzard. He was going to pick up the car tonight, but he may just come home. I want to snuggle.

I’m just going to flake for the evening and watch garbage TV.

I want to finish vaping, take my medication and go to sleep. Thank goodness my body likes sleeping. I’m very lucky.

Have a lovely day Zebra pals! 😘

 

PS. My predictive text is super aggressive and I just can’t fight with it today. Sometimes, yes. I do mean i, not in. Or it. Or I do mean the word I actually say. 🖕 I have been using this emotional and lot this week. Again. Emoji.  Yes, I know, I can choose the word in the bar above. My Lenovo never did this…

 

Pain, Pain Go Away!

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Finally, I came to my senses last night and took a sleeping pill. I don’t know if the nights of not sleeping contributed, or if this was on the way, anyway, but when I woke up, that right lower quadrant pain was searing. It started last night, actually. My husband was making dinner, and I went into spasm. It took my breath away. I wanted to call him, but I couldn’t even breathe. It lasted for nearly three minutes, but it felt like an hour.

Today it would twinge and spasm with any movement. I took my allowed medicine, the breakthrough stuff, and tried to relax, but it’s hard. Eventually, the lack of sleep and meds caught up, so I took a nap. I am feeling calmer, but still feeling like I’m sleeping with a live grenade.

These are days I just want to eat sugar and cry. So I had some cookies and my nap.

I still won’t see my pain specialist about this until June. My choices until then:

  1. Attempt to harass his staff
  2. Rush him at the next appointment in April
  3. Complain to my GP, who sent me to a specialist so he doesn’t have to deal with this
  4. Trips to the ER
  5. As much breakthrough medication as I can

I’m slightly nervous about harassing his staff, because they’ve been fairly clear they have nothing. I will definitely mention it in April at the next appointment, but I’m kind of annoyed the office staff goes *shrug* when you are in pain. My GP deals with general stuff, and is in no way prepared for this, so I’m not sure he’s appropriate. Hauling my ass to the ER isn’t effective, may get me branded a drug seeker, but if it gets too bad, I’m at a loss, not knowing what else to do.

What I will try for the next couple of days is medicating to the fullest, staying still, resting, relaxing, and hoping?

Any suggestions welcome, except ‘go kill yourself’. Wait, this isn’t Facebook.

Have a pain free day, my Zebra friends! 😘