Sucks to be Me

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Actually, I’m not a loser, but my body sure is.

My head and neck pain is back with a vengeance. The Botox injections I had for my migraines and body pain definitely did alleviate some of the pain I was feeling. My shots are now three weeks past due. I have not heard from the pain clinic, but my husband is in regular contact.

In addition, my back is spasming like it’s made for it. Topping things off, I’m having menstrual-type cramps like you wouldn’t believe. I’m essentially curled up in a ball most of the day.

Just like the week before my shots, I’m exhausted and sleep a lot. It’s quite defeating. I keep reminding myself the neurologist appointment is on October 2. Just over two weeks away. At least I will have a plan. I hope.

I’ve had to put my Beauty Blog on hiatus until October 5th. Β It was such a tough decision to make, but I can’t provide quality at this time. I attempt to apply a face of cosmetics and I’m exhausted part way through. Ten minutes in. Add the photography, and content. I’m so exhausted. I’m so disappointed, as I really love that blog. I’m looking forward to my energy coming back.

My kids are struggling as well. I have another blog, because I have so much information for living with people with autism. Some anecdotes, some strategies, and some catastrophic challenges. Unfortunately, it’s been too much to get that started.

My daughter has either had the flu since the beginning of school, caught the flu twice, or is suffering anxiety. There has been a nasty flu going around, and I was at the ER, a great place for germs. My son has been refusing to attend classes, and been spending time in the office.

My husband, Angel that he is, has been holding everything together. He fell asleep last night with his tablet on his lap and dental floss in his mouth. Poor guy. He tries to stay up and entertain me, but 10:00 hit him hard. I managed to slip the floss out of his mouth and put his tablet away without waking him.

I’ve been sleeping most afternoons from 1 to 6 or 7 and then am up with my husband until midnight. He usually sleeps earlier. I wake up at 6 during the week and later on weekends. I’m sleeping a lot. It may be to escape the pain. I’m focusing on being right on time with my medication so I don’t have the pain build up. It really helps.

I’ve also been nesting. Any energy I have goes into organizing or reorganizing drawers in my bedroom, which is my comfortable space. I’ve bought dimmer light switches, mood lighting, decorative boxes to contain some of the clutter, a fuzzy zebra blanket, some cute file folders, and cute pencil boxes. I’m getting organized with style! Everything is within arms reach. I feel so cozy.

Even though my body is being a real jerk right now, life isn’t so bad. I’m quite happy and content, I just wish I had more energy to enjoy things more.

Hope you’re having a good day!

πŸ’œ

Bad to Worse

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I suppose it makes sense I didn’t see this coming. It would be logical my brain would block out the natural next step, wouldn’t it?

My BOTOX injections have been cancelled.

I was due on August 22, so I’m about two weeks away. This means my migraines are slowly ramping up again. For me, this means my headaches that I usually have at the front of my head are slowly coming back. They are almost constant once they are fully ramped up, which they usually are by the time my appointment rolls around.

The person who called said they would reschedule once they had things sorted. But it would be after August, for certain. My back is at a state right now where I can barely move. My neck… It’s in bad shape. By evening I’m incoherent. I was hoping within the two weeks I would be able to touch base with him and at least ask him.

We still have no idea what is going on, however, husband dug around and found a couple of complaints at the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Canada. One is about him improperly examining a woman’s breasts, and another is about improper procedure. Both within 2015-2017. Now, this doctor is 74 (we figured it out). I have been his patient for eleven years. I am very sorry if he made someone uncomfortable, but I have trouble understanding the first charge. I do know what it is like to be in pain, however, and I have seen the looney-toons that walk into that clinic. I can understand a misunderstanding happening. I am completely certain she believes she was violated. There’s a reason I bring my husband along, however. He often sees things without the haze of pain and remembers things I don’t. Also: witnesses.

However, yes, often the staff would forget to have him or us sign consent forms until after the procedure, and that is bad. As head of the clinic, he needs to be responsible for that.

Now, I don’t know if this is why he is off, or the stress has gotten to him. But I understand the first complaint. If the second complaint caused a stoppage of business, I am enraged. Complaining about something like this to the College and denying thousands treatment, especially after losing another pain doctor recently (He murdered his wife, but still)

Not only that, but my pain doc prescribes a bunch of my meds that no other doc can prescribe.

Having said that, the office manager at the EDS clinic at General said we should hear within a month, and if not to call and find out what’s going on,

Husband will call and update her and my pot doc to advise them of the situation and let them know things may be changing going forward.

I am shopping my blues away. Thank goodness it’s cheap crap on Amazon. I will show you some of the cute stuff I acquire.

All we can do is wait and see. I may just give up and go to the hospital. I have enough medication to keep me semi-conscious and get me through. Actually, it’s not that bad. I make myself zone out so I can be in that hazy semi-sleep state. I am going to be much better at taking my medication on time.

I’m even going to work on vaping. I’ve stopped because it hurt, but I’m going to start again. It shouldn’t hurt after a while!

Ugh.

❀

It’s May!

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My search for a Maypole .gif rewarded me with this. It amuses me, so I’ll keep it!

I’m still feeling weak today. I’m not nearly as nauseated, so I’m kind of eating non-stop. I only had 589 kcals yesterday, so this should even things out. I know I’m trying to keep myself from falling asleep. I’m annoyed because I took yesterday and lay around. I want to play today. But my body is saying no. My back hurts, my neck is just intensely painful, and my abdomen, Oooh, it’s awful. I’m tired of this. I’m tired of whining and complaining.

I would like someone to come and sit with me for a while. Someone I don’t need to talk with. I used to watch garbage TV with my sister, but she’s living in Beijing. I miss her.

I should probably give up and have that nap. It’s not going to happen today. Not now, anyway. I think I need breakthrough meds. Texted the husband to ask if we should follow up with the pain doctor.

Some things I want to say, have to wait a bit until I feel less like I’ve been hit by a steamroller.

Have a good afternoon zebra pals! 😘