I know I said I would be back yesterday, but I have been dealing with a flare-up and have been sleeping up to 18 hours a day. If I am not sleeping, I just lie there, curled in a ball. My husband tries to wake me, but he can’t when he gets home. Consequently, I haven’t had a bath in two weeks. A proper one, anyway. I’ve been washing in the sink. And using wipes. To think that is all some people can do! Today I will bathe properly!
I’ve finally smartened up and am taking the full course of meds available to me. I don’t care how loopy I get. I’ve asked my husband to force my medicine into me, not just try to wake me. The distinction is important.
The reason I can’t bathe is I am not comfortable without my husband being here to get me out of the tub. I have fallen a couple of times, and the kids aren’t equipped to help if I am unstable at all. I keep thinking I will do it tonight, but then… oh well. My teens smell worse.
I have spent the last two weeks really regenerating. I did a lot of good things, some stupid. First thing I did was end my Beauty Blog. That was a tough, but obvious decision. I just can’t keep up with the deadlines I put on for myself. I can’t even scroll through Instagram right now! So, once I ended that, at least the guilt and pressure was off. You can keep up with me on Instagram, which I do update regularly @squidgeaboo. If I am ever strong enough, I would love to do the Beauty Blog again, but I think things would look different. It would depend on my health at the time, of course.
Next, I deleted Facebook Messenger. I think that was a mistake, one I will rectify once I am done this post, but it made sense when combined with my original plan. I was going to originally delete Facebook entirely, but then I remembered how useful it is as a sign-on device. I then decided to delete all my friends. Remember, I was pretty close to total mental collapse, here! Or emotional. As I started deleting, there were some I just couldn’t. (Now, I had added a ton of people after the US elections last year. I was hoping to become more engaged, but it didn’t work well. I made some wonderful friends, so it wasn’t a loss. However, there were many people I didn’t engage with and didn’t recognize.) I know there are good people who got caught up in my zeal, and some in my clumsy fingers, and even a few in my original mandate! I had intended to go back and do a second wave later, but looking at my new feed, I could see all my old friends. I could chat with people I remembered. They were there all along.
Perhaps Facebook enagement is what I need. Perhaps that is what I can handle. I do hope people can forgive me. Although I don’t know if I should draw attention to my boneheadedness and apologize or just do better from here on in.
I’m still playing with makeup when I can. The exhaustion doesn’t help, but it’s important to stay flexible and keep my fingers working with dexterity. Crochet is out, so makeup is in. I asked my husband for a couple of craft supplies and he spent hundreds of dollars on duck tape, the fancy kind, and glue, papers, mats, exacto knives, etc. I’m in heaven! Don’t worry, I promise not to sell you any crappy crafts! 😂
The other project I am working on is organizing my house. Well, everything I can reach. The other three members of my family have executive function issues, meaning they aren’t great at the higher levels of care, such as throwing out empty bottles of shampoo, etc. Being organized means everything is in a pile. I have been out of commission for ages, so it’s time to organize and dispose of everything we don’t need. It is going to take ages, as I can only do a bit at a time. The rest of the time, I stare at whatever is on TV. I sat through an Extreme Couponing Marathon. Fascinating. My brain can’t comprehend anything complicated. Just staring at the pretty pictures!
Anyway, organizing! Started with the bathroom… now for my too-big clothes! But the socks go first! Anything uncomfortable…gone! How many pair do I need? 😂 Maximum 5. If I go out 7 days in a row, I can either wear fuzzy bed socks or my worn ones twice…
P.S. I should note that my husband has done an excellent job of things over the years: Our house is not exactly a craphole, except for the fact that our kids spread out everything they own in order to see it. He hasn’t gotten rid of some of the other stuff, though, like the shampoo I didn’t like, or the razors I don’t use anymore, or weed out the facecloths that are paper thin. He does think we need new bath towels! He’s taken all my clothes that don’t fit to the basement. I want them gone. That sort of thing. Big Purge. 😈