My Wonderful Husband πŸ’™

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Things got a bit awkward? no, unfortunate last night. My darling husband and I started to snuggle, and we got about as far as Marge and Homer in the above .gif, only we were still wearing our matching pajamas (yes, every year at Christmas I buy the family matching pajamas. We are Canadian and it’s May, of course they’re on!) when suddenly I had the blinding head pain and nausea return. I was so upset. I’ve been in too much pain to be intimate for so long. Of course he understood, and just held me. He has to stop being attractive, too, though.

I was thinking if I should ask him if I could tell this story, I paused and I could almost hear him say “Why? It’s facts!” I started to cry. He’s so wonderful. Of course, just then my kids burst in with early Mother’s day gifts. They had a makeup brush I wanted and deodorant in a particular scent. They bought three sticks! My son informed me. Also, I stink. They wanted to know why I was crying, of course, so I told them it was because their dad was wonderful. They were fine with that. My husband rounded the corner shortly after and I had a chance to ask him if he would be embarrassed if I shared the story of last night. “Why, it’s facts?” He said.

Yesterday I just slept all day. I had stuff I wanted to do, but a two-hour nap turned into three, which became five… I think it was good. The pressure in my head was bad, and I needed to relax. My husband suggested I sleep in again today, but I thought if I did that I might not get up at all. When am I going to accept that he is always right? I did some makeup stuff, but the photos are awful. If I don’t feel good, the photos don’t turn out. Waste of time if I can’t show off. Or if I cringe looking at the photos.

Right now my head is throbbing and my jaw really hurts. I overdid things. My pubic bone hurts, too, likely from sitting up so long the past few days. I ache all over. I can’t remember much of any conversation. Watching TV is futile. I can only watch reruns of animated stuff I’ve seen a million times. I can’t follow other stuff. Law and Order was really bad. Archer is baffling to me. I keep calling him Bob. My husband watches sports beside me on his tablet. Or we watch together.

Ha! Husband just ran in, gave me a kiss and ran out again.

This head thing is really frustrating, but my husband really cheers me up. So glad he’s in my life. πŸ’™

For Mothers day (because my husband is such a terrible speller, we refer to it as Mothra’s day, and of course Fathead’s day. Although that may have come about as a autoreplace suggestion. πŸ€” My husband is a Fathead, yes he is! Full of knowledge!)

Anyway, I haven’t really been feeling well enough to do anything for my Mother, so in appreciation, Mom, if you are reading this, I will not take you to see Snatched this weekend, that atrocious looking movie with Goldie Hawn and Amy Schumer. My Mom works so hard looking after my Dad, she deserves major snaps, because she has her own challenges, yet she cares for him tirelessly. I’ve long felt it’s easier to be the patient than the carer. I know I would have bailed long ago.

I’m feeling really frustrated with this stupid head pressure affecting things so much. I didn’t even vape yesterday because inhaling was going to hurt too much. That’s not good. I’m frustrated it’s taking from the tiny amount of leisure I was afforded. I don’t want to have to give everything up. I’ve had to give up so many hobbies already.

I’m scared it will come down to choosing between functioning and being comfortable.

Have a great evening, Zebra pals! 😘

Friday!

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Why do I still get excited for Fridays? I haven’t been able to work in nearly fifteen years. You would think maybe my family hangs around more, but they really don’t. I bet it’s the chicken fajitas we have on Friday night and the snuggling and animated shows on Sunday night. The Simpsons and Bob’s Burgers! Oh! Chocolate chip pancakes on Sunday morning! Mmmmm.

My head is hurting less and less. I’m learning to live with this burden. I’ll have to name it. As long as I ensure I lay on my side every hour or so, for at least a half hour, don’t put too much pressure on my neck in general, so no actually holding my head up if I don’t need to, propping up with pillows is preferred. My memory is lousy. I can barely follow conversations, and television plots are very complicated to me. I was trying to find something at an online shop yesterday, and I could not find it. I looked this morning, right there, plain as day. I’m really overdoing things as I’m pretty bored. I don’t want to interact with people because it’s confusing, and I end up getting frustrated. I only want my nuclear family, they understand sort of.

It’s rather like being drunk. You get worse as the day wears on, more tired, more disoriented, dizzier. Napping helps, but it doesn’t quite fix things. You need a full reset for that.

I’m still sort of in hideout mode. It’s most comfortable. Β I wish I could read, though. My eyes are wonky and I’m not retaining info. Plus that tiredness thing. Reading would be awesome.

Half of me wants to play with makeup, the other wants to nap all day…

Sigh.

What kind of life is this? I feel like once I get well, THEN my life can begin. But no, this is all there is. I’m sure there is meaning somewhere.

 

Have a lovely day, my Zebras! 😘

Friday Morning

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I did manage to get a Beauty blog post up for today. I’m pretty pleased with myself. I took the photos when I had a pain respite one day ( I’m having trouble remembering what day it is) and wrote the copy slowly yesterday morning. I slept from 2:00 PM until 9:00, took my medication, looked at my email and futzed around until 11:00 PM. Β Then slept until 6:00 this morning.

This morning so far isn’t too bad. My neck and jaw is pretty sore. The back of my head hurts, and I have a headache starting to wrap around my head. I’m so nauseated and dizzy, too. I have wicked bedspins, it’s like being in a standing MRI, or when I had that barium swallow. Instead of just spinning flat, I actually feel like I spin top ways, then sideways. It’s awful. Better lying down, best on my side. I’m probably sleeping so much just to be away from it.

Things are definitely worse when I sit or stand, and get progressively worse the longer I am upright.Β 

I do feel much better, though. We are keeping an eye on things, and I am not having as much head pain as I was having. My memory and vision are both not really good either, just a bit hazy, but not alarming. That kind of just woke up feeling.

We’re pretty sure I’m not going to die from this, so we will evaluate on Sunday whether we go to the Emergency Room for evaluation. If I keep improving, then we will just try to be low-key and calm for a few weeks. Otherwise we go.

I took some daytime cold medicine this morning, so maybe this is what’s helping.

I have had so much good support through this. When my brain returns, I will thank you properly and link a great article.

Also, two Facebook friends have admitted to reading my adventures. That matters so much to me, you don’t even know. Sometimes I feel I’m passing through this life unnoticed.

Am I having a mid-life crisis on top of everything? 😁

I’ve found, as an adult, maybe I haven’t been so great at choosing friends. The ones I’ve clung to have kicked me, and the ones I’ve dismissed have shown themselves to be the gems. I’m probably not in a good space and haven’t been for a long time. I don’t think it’s something I can fix at the moment. It’s just a musing.

I need to remember I’m in survival mode at the moment and act accordingly.

I have to put things in perspective. Be selfish. Be okay with being selfish. That may be the toughest part.

I was thinking about it. So what if people think I’m an asshole? For the first time in a long time, I like me. I don’t have the time and energy to explain myself to people who don’t understand or listen anyway. I’ve been exhausting myself trying to be wonderful to people who don’t appreciate it anyway. I’m tired. I’m tired of being nice. I’m tired of sending out care packages and getting a half-hearted ‘thanks’. I’m not a grandmother!

Anyway… rant over. I share a birthday with Dennis Miller. It comes naturally. πŸ˜‚

OK, Β Zebra peeps! I’m going to lie really still, because I just moved my neck and it hurts a lot now. Have a great day!

Head Pain

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Aaagh My head! My head and neck are really sore. I’m just in so much pain. The back of my head really hurts. I fractured my skull in 1992 after a fall down some stairs. Like, a flight and a half. I saw my boots silhouetted against the sky. And I remember nothing. I woke up 10? Minutes later. I was taken to the hospital when fluid was leaking out of my ears later that day. I had some bladder incontinence for a day, but then was better and they sent me home, no follow up. But that’s where it hurts. Β I’m also quite nauseated.

I rubbed Voltaren on my neck last night. Oh! Heaven! 😍! My neck is so much better. It may be why my head hurts, as I tend to have migraines when I relax. I want to be put in a harness and hanged by my neck so I can straighten everything out. My husband suggested he crack me like a whip to put everything into place!

I’m in a happy mood, my makeup guru drops a makeup collection today! I’m so excited! My friend made my week the other day. She went blonde, and said I had inspired her, because I have so much fun on my Instagram and beauty blog with different lipsticks and makeup. Wait until she sees my new lashes! Also, she’s quite a beauty. I’m flattered to have inspired someone so fabulous!

I have an appointment with my therapist today, and I’m slightly displeased. Mildly miffed? They have a 48 hour cancellation policy, as one does, and I understand it’s to keep those reluctant or anxious from canceling at the last minute every time. However, I don’t know when I’m going to be hit with blinding pain every time. This is not a therapy avoidance tactic, and although my therapist is kind enough to meet with me by phone, I am not exactly getting my $200 worth that I am paying out of pocket. Anyway.

I’m in tears from pain now. Still happy, though. You zebras know what I mean! Just vaped. Lol! πŸ˜‚

Have a good day Zebra friends!

PS. To whom it may concern: I didn’t see any owls on my Facebook. If you go to my WordPress page, the icons at the top? Should take you directly to me. My avatar shows half my face. Also on my WordPress site is a contact form to email me so you can send me your name, I can look out for you!

My head is mushy and um… sorry. I am intelligent.