Still Flu-ish

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Still not feeling quite so amazing this morning. I’m feeling weak, like everything takes effort. I’m kind of hungry, so I tried some crackers, but they tasted like ashes, and upset my stomach. Why would a few crackers give me gas pains? I have no idea.

So I lay around this morning and looked at catmemes. I am downloadfiletrying to convince myself to go back to sleep, but I am pretty bored with that idea. I’m pretty bored with doing nothing but sleeping. There are a ton of books I have lined up here. I have new makeup on its way, and gorgeous lashes to try. I have my Beauty Blog post to do for tomorrow. But… I can barely move. I think the only solution, since I’ve been trying to get it together enough to turn the TV on for an hour and a half now is, to give in. Sleep, and when I wake up it will be time then to reevaluate.  I know I’m bored as hell, but what else can I do now?

Hope you are having more fun, Zebra friends! 😷

Doubt, Pain and Uncertainty

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Yesterday went slightly better for me. Strange, because we started the day with the lower THC marijuana, so I had lower pain relief, and I was hurting slightly more. I wonder if I take better care of myself on these days? Something to think about. I made sure I took in proper nutrition, and had some crackers my husband had bought over the weekend with some cheese, and I felt less tired. Hey, now! If I can time this right, perhaps I can work around the nausea and try to have some better food and thus, better energy. I’m pretty good at timing my vitamins now. One thing at a time.

I had a chance to play with a new makeup collection – the Urban Decay x Basquiat Collection – and had a blast. I didn’t make too much of a mess. I was so pleased! I played with new lights, and was happily able to take care of some personal grooming such as shaving my legs, applying a face mask, and I was going to settle down to write a few words for this blog when… okay, I fell asleep. I thought it was just going to be a small two-hour nap, just until my husband came home. It was four o’clock, after all.

Eight o’clock and chicken tortillas in my face indicated this was not to be. I was in quite a lot of pain as well. My abdomen is really bothering me, as is my neck, although it’s eased some. I’m coping. I mean, derangedly, but I’m coping. I have huge acne sores. I’m stressed all to hell, but I’m coping. I just don’t know what else to do except put on makeup because it’s fun, take photos, because that was a lot of work, and the photos are fun, too. Distraction.

I’ve cut my Beauty Blog to three days per week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday now through the month of May. It’s heartbreaking, because it’s so much fun, but I had to give something up. Nobody would take my kids 😃 Likely because I didn’t offer them. My daughter is struggling a bit with her Autism and anxiety. Mama to the rescue! Poor kid. When Dad has Autism as well, it’s difficult because he wants to help, but he isn’t very adept at relating interpersonally. His approach is completely logical. Not necessarily what one needs in the moment. Fortunately he relates well to the hyper-logical boy.

Off to play for a bit!

Stay stripey, my Zebra loves! 😘

Stumbling Around in the Light

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Good God I’m tired. I woke up this morning feeling well. I had energy. I made plans! I finished my vaping and decided to call my Mom as I hadn’t called her in ages. Halfway through the call, I lost all my energy. It just disappeared. I was so disappointed.  I had planned to do some fun makeup things, prep for Instagram and my Beauty Blog. It was not meant to be. I ended up trying to cry, but I was too tired to produce tears.

I had another three hour nap this afternoon. I put on some golf to listen to, and was out.

So I’m currently sitting amongst makeup detritus, waiting for my husband to come to bed so we can snuggle and I can go to sleep again.

I picked up a phone message yesterday and it seems my gastroenterologist from hell retired at the end of March. Everyone knew this but me, apparently, I guess I was trying too hard to stay upright I didn’t see the signs posted in the office, and husband didn’t mention it. I’m annoyed and relieved. It explains why he gave no fucks. Likely why he wasn’t interested in a long term patient. Let’s start over, shall we? Sounds like fun.

I have so much to do, so much to say, stuff to do, and zero energy. Ugh.

Is there such a thing as like medicinal energy drinks? Medicinal meth? In my day it was cocaine I guess. I was thinking, what speeds you up? Speed?  Lol. I’m soo into drug culture, can you tell? I had a friend who used to show up with pot in high school. Perfect with the pain of my menstrual cramps, we now know I have endometriosis, but that’s all the unprescribed drugs I took. I can feel crappy all on my own.

One Facebook friend? had a status today that read 90% of illness is emotionally related. 😂😂😂

I read one of those anecdote collection of medical stories, and it told of this one student who was sitting behind another student who pulled out a bottle of Tylenol and counted out 8 pills and went to swallow them before he stopped her and asked what she was doing. She said her pain was at an 8, so she was taking 8 tablets. That’s why doctors ask you to rate your pain out of 10, right? 😮 Scary.

Okay. I’m worn out. My hands are feeling good from all the rest, they’re just cold! 🙂

Have a lovely evening, my Zebras! 😘

 

Gobsmacked!

giphy2OK! First off, let me start by saying the weather here is icky pants. It is +10C today and will be -5C tomorrow, so I am very achy and very medicated. I’m a bit jumbled in my wording, but not inaccurate, if that makes sense. My husband warned me about the weather this morning and told me even his hips were aching. 😔

OK. So, the other day I had mentioned how I was disappointed with the treatment I had received from the customer service at my marijuana distributor. Just to be absolutely clear, I wasn’t so much upset with the delay in getting the paperwork done, because I happened to peek online, and it was finished on Sunday night. But by the time I remembered to check, I’d had my sleeping pill, and it was kicking in. The issue I was upset with was the seeming lack of care the person had when I was speaking with her. What became a problem is I didn’t receive an email letting me know my order was ready to go, because if it was there Sunday evening, it was likely there since sometime Saturday, and I would have been further up the queue, however… I didn’t get to order until Monday evening because I needed my husband’s help, since I have trouble remembering what I am supposed to buy. This really is probably moot since they are pretty fast, though.

Anyway 😄 the impressive part is that one of the customer service team at Cannimed reached out to me after seeing my complaint on my blog and asked me about my experience, and I explained how I understand how professionals sometimes need to detach when dealing with chronic pain patients, but when we get that every day it feels like we are being blown off. That not receiving my email was a problem, I counted on that. He then returned my email and said he would follow up with the rep in a non disciplinary way (good!) and find out what their perspective is, which I think is awesome.

The reason this may sound innocuous as a customer service experience that I’m complaining about is because it’s not the standard I’m used to from them. Last week my husband needed the receipts for my expenditure for 2016, he didn’t even know if we could get them. I was sick, so he called. Boom! Less than 10 minutes, I had the email and a follow up call.

What other company Googles themselves so they can provide customer service? I received this email at 10 pm. EST. Maybe 7 or 8 their time? I can’t remember if they are…oh wait 9? They are in Saskatchewan, they shouldn’t have been in the office, anyway. I’m impressed all to heck. They have been super, so this, what seems normal from Walmart, is an aberration from them.

I think, if I can get it by Friday? I should have enough. But my doctor is saying vape at will! I don’t know how this will work.

Yesterday’s nap ended up being all that happened, but it was gorgeous and I loved it. Naps are only for very lucky people who deserve them very much. 😄😄😄

My husband has arranged with work to start at 9:00 instead of 7:30 so he can walk our son to school. At least he is getting there. Prayers welcome.

Let’s see what today brings…

Have a gorgeous day, Zebras! 😘

Self Care

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I have been trying to catch up on reading blog posts, but I can’t focus long enough to read through a whole post. I have a great makeup idea, but I am just too tired and sore. I have things for the Instagram and my blog for tomorrow. I can throw my Beauty Blog post together in 45 minutes, will anyone notice if I don’t post? 🙄

I’m going to try to read, then nap until my kids leave school. I’m shaking. After they are home I will decide what’s next.

My toenails may not get painted today, unless I need the stretch.

So worn out I’m seeing double!  I don’t hurt if I don’t move. Okay, maybe I will read when I wake up…

Be kind to yourself Zebras! 😘

Update: Monday Evening

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Well, that didn’t go as planned. I decided to lie down at 1:00 and begged my husband to wake me up at 5:00, so I could soak in the tub. He remembered as he woke me up at 7:00. Oh, well.

I am feeling slightly better, but the back of my head is hurting, which means likely means more snow on the way. I think I need to take it really easy this week. Whatever is going on is serious, I need pampering.

I could be getting the flu. I do get very emotional whenever I get physically ill with a virus.

I don’t think people realize how hard I work to be interesting and cheerful. It’s actually a lot of work. I spend at least two to three hours a day reading articles so I have interesting things to talk about. I think that needs to stop for a bit.

I’m going to ensure I’m up on my vitamins. Two people have mentioned vitamin D in the past week, that can’t be a coincidence.

Cutting back on my sugar again. I’m starting to mindlessly eat again. Mostly when I’m trying to keep myself awake. I should just let myself sleep and just be done with it.

So, I’m still pretty grouchy, but I’m not as dark as I was. Does this mean I’m a shade of grey? 😜 Ew.

 Beighton the best you can be!, my zebras! 😘

Worn Out

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I posted about my weight journey yesterday. It was a post I had wanted to do for a while, and I needed some time yesterday to process.

I was supposed to go out with my good friend on Sunday, but hadn’t heard from her by noon. She called me at three, she had a family emergency. We had a good talk, and she let me know a therapist we had both been to see had died just last month. The therapist was just a couple of years older than we are. She apparently had an operation, was fine, and then caught a devastating infection. I saw her for about six months. The reason I stopped was because she was on the second floor of a renovated Victorian home. Just a stunning office. However, I was having trouble reaching it on the narrow stairs when my knees started to give me problems. My new therapist I found when I was having pelvic floor therapy. They insist you see a sex therapist. She and I really clicked, and she does other forms of therapy, so we started working together. Another bonus is, she sees me by phone, because she knows I’m actually doing the work, so that’s fantastic. I am still torn up about the loss of this lady, though. I had in my mind, somehow, thought I might go back to her, just because I liked her so much. You don’t expect to lose people so young. Or maybe I’m not young.

Therapy bills are choking us. At $200 per visit, my son is going 2x per week for Autism therapy, my daughter 1x per month, and I’m finally down to 1x per month for traditional therapy.  $1,200 is a lot. Add in my medication, which most of us covered, thank goodness, my injection fees are $225 every 10 weeks, if I want to start-up with regular and pelvic physio again, I’m going to be expensive. And then there are the cabs to and from. I’m not up to public transportation yet, and our Wheel-Trans is great, as long as you’re not in pain. I mean, I’m really lucky, we can afford it. I’m not whining really, I’m kind of scared, actually. I say it’s the money, but last time I started physio, I went into a pain spiral that lasted months. I don’t know if I should leave well enough alone. The physiotherapist said he couldn’t help my pain, but maybe my stamina. He could also help with the disassociation I have with my body. I can’t tell when someone has their hand on my leg, for example.  I guess I did that to deal with pain.

Pelvic therapy really helped me relax. I keep my whole pelvis tense, likely because of endometriosis pain. Trigger point massage was helping, but I got hit with that flare. I just am afraid to try again. Is it worth it? It was nice feeling relaxed, but I really don’t want to be that sick again.

I had the best nap yesterday afternoon. I went to sleep at 4:00, intending to get up at 6:00. Slept deeply until 8:00. But it was delicious.

My abdomen is very crampy. I have a Mirena, so it shouldn’t be menstrual. I wonder what is going on. I feel like curling up in a ball and crying. Maybe I just need a rest.

Have a bendy day! 😘