16 Years!


It’s hard to believe, but we were married 16 years ago today! We still seem to like each other! 🤣 I know I like him, anyway!

He really is everything to me. He is everything fun in my life. We met on Halloween, 19 years ago. I feel both like I’ve known him forever, and I met him yesterday. Do you know what it’s like when you meet someone destined to be your family? He is my family. We do have two babies. Well, I was pregnant with one of those babies when we got married. I was told I couldn’t conceive, and we should start trying, so we could begin IVF right after the wedding…

Tonight will be a quiet night at home. He is exhausted, I am essentially bedridden, due to my chronic illness. That’s okay, we are homebodies. Restaurants are out, he has potentially fatal allergies, as do I. I have gastroparesis and the FODMAP diet makes eating out complicated.

He is exhausted from work, and I’m pretty hopped up on drugs due to my neck and head hurting so much. Although, Monday I’m going for migraine BOTOX injections. I am to talk to this doc about a neurologist. I’m starting to have fantasies about kidnapping a neurologist, forcing them to treat me, so something needs to happen soon.

Have a great evening!

Valentine’s Day!


Even though I was feeling crappy last night, I got a whole bunch of parcels together that I meant to send out weeks ago. My husband put them in the mail this morning. Saint! I just adore this man. He is so good to me. He even ran an errand for my Mother, which kind of started this whole thing of mailing stuff out, because my Mom is having a skin crisis, and can’t get out for a couple of weeks because of my Dad’s caregivers’ schedule.

I love Valentine’s day. I love everything heart-shaped, symbolic heart – not actual heart, of course! I’m quite a romantic. I adore chocolate and the whole idea. I also respect those who do not celebrate, who may not be enthusiastic about the holiday, but I was not expecting to find an anti-Valentine’s rant about it being a plain commercialized money grab and we should be loving everyone every day as my first Facebook greeting this morning. In other words, it’s still not a safe place.


I’m kind of embarrassed having feelings all over the place the past few days, but I can’t go on pretending I don’t. I’m feeling slightly better today, but I’m still raw. I need some bubble wrap for a while.

Remember how I mentioned my husband had an eye infection? It was really bad and the doctors have no idea how we don’t have it? I woke up this morning with my eye all red and pus-filled. I am going to take a Benedryl, see if that helps. It may be from crying. It may be because I let down my immune system enough that the infection came through. I was poking at it enough last night, I have no idea. It’s very sore and the light hurts.

My head is hurting, my neck is sore. I don’t feel quite so bad anymore. I’m healing. Rip and heal, rip and heal. That’s how we get stronger, right?

Stay beautiful, my Valentine Zebras! 😘



Hey hey! It’s Saturday! I woke up with the back of my head banging so much I felt like it was going to fly off. I’ve got my coffee and my mmj, so we shall see about that.

I stayed curled up in a ball last night. My friend didn’t make it over. We had a pretty big snow storm. 10 cm of snow isn’t a lot, but when it falls all at once, it’s a problem on city streets. She’s going to drop by today, after her massage.

I didn’t make it to my virtual party last night. I decided to join Rodan + Fields as a consultant, but only to purchase my own stuff. They call those ‘face washers’ apparently.  😂 This party was for those that were joining. I couldn’t uncurl myself enough.

I’m feeling a bit better today, not fantastic, but maybe moving will help. Going downstairs and seeing people.

Darling husband was super sweet today. He shops at Walmart every Saturday at 7:00 am, and there has been a sale on big fluffy pillows the past three weeks. He brought home one for everybody on week one and two, and two for me today, so I am just swimming in pillows. Unfortunately, he dumps things on me, so I am covered in things and can’t dig out. I will need his help later to make sense of all this. I don’t have the spoons, and my bed (our bed) looks like a bed from hoarders.

I need to find cheap tools for my mmj device. I keep losing them, and have to source more. Tried pipecleaners, not strong enough. This mmj is what is keeping me from certain death of spirit right now. It’s very high CBD, mid THC, so I can still function.

I have had the weirdest encounters with men the past few days. Normally, men are pretty respectful. I’m old, disabled, used to be pretty fat, and I’m still considered obese, but I’m about 5 lbs. away from being merely overweight! I chose a fairly man repellant icon for my Facebook photo, deliberately, not that I need to worry, yet I still had one guy in messenger saying he wanted to kiss my neck, another guy on my actual page saying he wanted to marry me! He claims he still wanted to marry me after I told him I needed a manservant to look after me, this bitch with pain, my personality does not make up for it, I wear nothing but onesies, and watch nothing but animated shows. Had to block someone on Facebook because he continually would judge my statuses, tell me I should be caring more about this or that. Just disrespectful. This one in particular was a petition on having Ivanka Trump’s Line dropped from a Canadian clothing store, which he didn’t feel is fair, because “she didnt do anything”. Disagree with me, yes, but don’t talk to me like you are my father. Anyway, I didn’t want him coming back with arguments or whining, hence the block.


What takes the cake is my Instagram interaction this week. I deliberately chose a photo for my daughter’s birthday this week that was not so flattering. I’m glad I did. One tag I used was Aspergers. This one guy contacted me. Normal. He started chatting about struggling with Aspergers. Fine. Then he asked me if my daughter finds farts funny. Blocked.

This must be my punishment for participating in that thread and saying I wasn’t getting that much harassment so I didn’t mind friending men on social media. What is wrong with them? Does this work on anyone? If so, whom?

My friends always tell me to take my photo off my profile, use something neutral. But just because someone is a jerk, I’m not going to change my whole life.

I really, really, really love my socially awkward husband.

My friend showed up much earlier than I expected. I thought she was having a massage at 12:30 so I budgeted an hour, and then travel time, so 2:00 at the earliest, but she was here at 1:30, and I didn’t have time to finish vaping, never mind getting dressed, or finishing my blog post. But she was great, came and hung out in my bedroom. She’s so swamped at work. It’s terrible. I wish I could see her more often! We had a good catch up. My sweet husband made chocolate chip cookies. Gluten-free of course. They are delicious.

I’m still sore, my abdomen hurts. I have cramps. It feels like a bad period, or maybe a cyst. I don’t know what’s going on, but it hurts. I shouldn’t be having problems as I’m on Mirena,  so maybe it’s gastrointestinal. That makes more sense. I mean, my GI system has been bothering me since I was a toddler. I used to eat only every second or third day.

I should go do something productive, like check the weather, see if there are any storms brewing, find out how my week is going to be. Three seasons per year are tolerable here, really.

Have a stripey day, my zebras! 😘



My Botox needles, ready to go, taken a couple of years ago.

One of the things I do to help manage my pain is get Botox injections every ten weeks. Just like for migraines, which I am also treated for with Botox, at the same time.

So this morning I had to drag my ass out of bed. I was not amused. 😁 I was really sore! I wanted to have a quick wash. In fact, I’d wanted a bath last night, but that just was not happening. I was too sore. I tried to move today, and my back spasmed, so I asked my son for a warm cloth to wash up with so at least I won’t be smelly, and I get the third degree! Why? Does it have to be warm? Why? Ugh! He’s 12, it’s not like he’s a baby.

After I convinced him of what I needed and managed to dress, I was able to hobble downstairs. Must have been so funny to see! Me hanging on to husband and kicking my feet out trying to loosen my knees up.

We got to the hospital and our appointment, and there is a nurse? Social services worker? I don’t know who she is, but ugh. She’s not kind. She calls you to your appointment, then disappears from sight. She doesn’t even sort of wait for you. Then she waves you to the treatment room. Hm. Onward.

The doctor comes in with two new doctors who are taking extensive extra training in Pain Management. We talk about how fascinating I am to have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, diagnosed late, even though he had been seeing me ten years. Hm. Hm. Botox injections are tricky things, only work occasionally, hm.


The aftermath of needles in the forehead

Hm. Lucky me. And I am very lucky.

Then we start sticking needles in my head. As you can see from the photo, he didn’t clean me up before sending me home.

After the front, we move to the back, and he injects some near my jaw, I think,  but truly I just spaced out for a while.

I know we then did some near my neck and shoulder,  being careful around my throat so I don’t stop breathing. I hear that can be bad. We continued to my lower back focusing on the lower spine area, and the top of the buttocks.

At this point I have to roll over. Never an easy task in a gown on a narrow slab of table. Now imagine you want to preserve some dignity.

Here is also where my doctor starts to show off. He says to PMDIW (Pain Management Doctors in Waiting) “she has an entrapped nerve and is very sensitive!” As he touches my pelvis, the right lower quadrant, and I scream. The PMDIW look horrified and blanche under their South Asian complexions. They look like they want to bolt. I don’t blame them. Doctor moves on. He terrorizes my pubic bone. My face contorts in a silent scream. Husband grabs my hand. The doctor injects me as I sob. I tell him to keep going. Husband asks if I want a break, but I don’t. It will just be longer, then. The doctor starts on my right inner thigh. He pushes a bit. I wince. He moves over. I scream. I quickly slam my hand over my mouth, conscious of where I am,  but it hurts so damn much. I’m just sobbing now as he finishes the left leg, worn out from the pain, spacey, tired.

The doctors all leave. Husband helps me get dressed. That not a nurse or a social worker comes in and asks if I’m okay but is gone before I can answer. I can tell she didn’t care anyway. I’m known as the screamer. They tease me that I’m bad for business.

One of the PMDIW wants an appointment with me next week to talk about how sensitive I am in areas. It doesn’t seem normal not to be able to touch someone in an area, like my inner thigh or my abdomen. So maybe we can do something? I can hope!

So, I’m sitting here semi-bingeing on sweets, while my dear husband naps beside me. It’s bliss! 😍