Resolutions

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One of the resolutions I made for this new year is to be more disciplined in my blogging. I have been very lacksidasical lately, and I don’t like that. Otherwise, my resolutions are month by month, as I did last year. I have most of them laid out, but need to get back to it. January is supposed to be for rest and relaxation, so maybe I’m doing just fine. February is when I crack the whip.

This week was rife with doctor appointments. Last Sunday I met with my cannabis doctor. This was a video call. It was amazing. I was able to talk without crying. He was so nice! He told me I shouldn’t skip any doses and not to short myself. I don’t like the feeling of being loopy, but I’m in so much pain right now, I can’t argue. I have come to some realization about why I’m so leery of being out of control or out of it on medication, but it’s family stuff, and I don’t feel comfortable sharing. However, I  should be able to work through it better now that I know I have a hang-up.

Monday, I had two appointments next door to each other, so I saw my gynecologist first, no big deal. Just a check in to see how I was. Then we had some time so my husband wheeled me around a bit, and we found a Manchu Wok! I haven’t had mall food in years, so I had some… so yummy! Even though I was steadily eating pain pills, by the time we got to the sleep specialist, I was in tears from pain. I got out my story, but she can’t really give me anything but what she has, and she says they are for ‘normal’ people. So I need another doctor. And because I’m crying, I need a psychiatrist. No, I’m in pain. Trust.

But, after that, I decide I’m getting my flu shot because we were there. So we go, but I didn’t count on having to wait under the speakers blasting horrendous music for 45 minutes. Why do they make it so loud? And if it’s so loud, why is it so bad? Then two ladies notice my distress, they were those weird ladies, too. The ones that are really big on top, but have really skinny legs and bums? And they always have feathered hair, and they wear big sweaters that never cover said tiny bums? Anyway, they noticed my distress, so they come over and start singing loudly and tap their feet right beside me and crack up. Lovely. I loathe people.

The next couple of days I just flaked. I did some organizing around here, because it really is one of my favorite things to do. Played with some makeup. Found my contact lenses. I don’t like being loopy, but I sure am in a better mood!

So, Friday. I call my Grandmother. Light of my life. She’s my world. Everything is good.

Then I decide to call an old friend I had been neglecting. Mistake. He starts going on this rant about how I need to find better doctors and I’m too young to be lying in bed all day. I just need to find the doctor who will cure me. I take too many pills. Blah blah. Then: All teenagers think their parents are stupid ergo mine think we are stupid. No amount of conversation would help. Because this wasn’t a conversation, it was a rant. So I started crying and said goodbye. That’s another thing, I’m not going to hide my emotions anymore. Why bother? If I end up just me and my family anyways, people need to know if I am hurt, offended or amused.

My grand total for last year was 4 visitors, including my sister and brother in law, and two social outings. If you count my two day conference as two, then it is three social outings. Not that I didn’t try much harder. I had three more engagements where I was … ditched? Anyway, no worries. Let us see what this year brings.

Why do People Gotta be so Mean?

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WARNING: MAY BE A BIT RAMBLY AND DISJOINTED. STILL NOT AT 100% MAKING SENSE. STILL FLUISH.

It’s Monday afternoon and I’m on my way to feeling human once again.  Somewhat. I am fairly sure it will take a few weeks before I am completely back and feeling whole, as it sometimes does with colds. It’s funny, it’s not always the really heavy colds, either. This one I had a light sore throat, but I was so tired, and those sores on my tongue came back. They seem to come back now the second I get run down. They are terrible. I can’t have more barriers to eating!

Yesterday was my husband’s 49th birthday. He looks much younger. He was asked last fall to join an under 30 kickboxing club. 😂 He declined.  The family finally got me to move at about 4 in the afternoon. I was still very weak, but I hung out, still in bed, because I’m always in bed, tried to be a good sport, and tried some food. My husband had made some FODMAP friendly brownies, so I had a couple. He eventually made me a smoothie, which I spilled all over myself. Yay! I’m just waiting to take a bath.

My head is really hurting today. It never ends. It’s nice my brain decided to ease up while the rest was acting up. Or I didn’t notice it.

The hospital hasn’t called back, and it’s long past 48 hours, so I assume we aren’t dealing with an infection. So, it looks like I have to face facts and will likely have to find a new GYN. I love mine, but she isn’t available enough to me, and did not return my husband’s call. Can’t work with that. I don’t have the energy.

So, I can’t remember if I mentioned this, but I’m too weak to check, as we were leaving the exam room, we walked by the patient at the nurses station on a stretcher. Obviously, I was in a room because of the examination that needed to be done. The patients partner was sitting crossways across the bed and my husband walks past, holding my hand, I’m clutching my stomach, and she stretches her legs out and tries to kick me in the knee. She just barely makes contact, though, short-legs-having-bitch. Why?

Then I get out to the waiting room, I had to make sure I didn’t hallucinate this one. This woman was sitting in the waiting room, and it was about half full. My husband found the closest chair and dumped me on it, and this woman was sitting across from me. Husband goes to get a cab, and she goes “Ha ha” and I assume she’s looking at her phone, but she’s staring me down. I just put my head in my hands. She may have taken a photo, because she had her camera out and in position, but that didn’t occur to me until later. 6 mg of morphine, remember. I did not fall asleep! But I did get somewhat stupid. I remembered what happened, but it took me a while to parse it. She looked so normal! Then this guy came out that ahe was with, and he did not look, uh, well. I appreciate a man who works with his hands, but this man looked like he worked with his face! Wow! I don’t know the relationship, but the age difference looked huge! I’m biased, because my ex was older and it was bad. Strange people everywhere.

I don’t understand deliberately trying to hurt someone. And on that note, a big shout out to twiggyjen44 whom I may have been inadvertently ornery with in my cold/pain/drug induced haze. I am very sorry if I was snarky. Thank you for your help and advice! 💜

Over this next week I’m going to work on recovering my strength before making any decisions. I seem to have had one round of bleeding that has stopped. Perhaps my lining had just built up enough that it needed to slough. We have moved my cranberry pill to the morning, so that should help with any chronic yeast problems.

Oh! Yes! When the nurse was inserting the iv into my hand, she really crammed it into the back of my hand. I heard it pop when it entered my vein. That has never happened before.  But I have the teeniest of yellow bruises. I am one Zebra who doesn’t bruise! And another thing, my body should be stretched out from being fat, but it snapped back! Reverse elasticity? 🤣 I think my skin just isn’t very involved.

Another thing at the hospital, while I had my blood drawn, this woman came in, she was in her large 60s, she approached the triage nurse. Patient explained she was at the ER and the doctor wanted her to come back for a follow up test. Triage nurse explained patient had to go to her GP. Patient claims the doctor told her to come back here. Triage nurse tried not to roll her eyes and started to ask the patient questions. Which start to go in circles. We go through this whole routine three times, at which point the patient decides she wants to come back tomorrow, and tries to book an appointment. All the nurses were listening in by the end, trying not to either laugh in sympathy or strangle the patient.

When I was still waiting in the hall, one lady jumped up because her partner was getting worse, they were worried about his heart. She bashed into my stretcher, which hurt so much, and surprised me, I felt so bad for calling out, but I couldn’t help it. She apologised, but her mind was elsewhere, of course. Goodness. I’m such a jerk when I don’t mean to be. It’s good I don’t go out much! 🙊

I must admit, though, even though I had to spell Ehlers Danlos for them, I did get treated awesomely. Adequate pain management, no drug seeking questioning (it does help to go to the hospital that does administrate my pain management), thinking ahead so I didn’t have to move too much, all in all, the staff was very considerate.

Okay, I’m going to go find someone to monitor my bath. I fell a couple of weeks ago, and I like to have someone keep an ear out for giant splashes or thuds.

💜

Hellooo Nurse!

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Finally, after being in pain all week, one of my friends on here (I don’t know if she wants recognition or not) convinced me to convince husband it was time to get me checked out.

Now we haven’t done nothing, I know my husband put in an urgent call to my regular gynecologist on Monday morning.  We still haven’t heard back. My GP is on holiday the last few weeks of August, with no cover. We would have called telehealth, but they always tell you to go to the hospital.

WARNING: I WILL GET GRAPHIC ABOUT LADYBITS 

I don’t entirely blame my husband, although he sure blames himself. If I had said the pain was bad, we need to go, we would have gone. However, I have a cold as well, with that sore throat. All I want to do is sleep. So I really minimized the pain, as I hoped it would go away.

At first, because I had spotting, I didn’t worry. Then it got heavier, and heavier, with the pain, our theory was my Mirena IUD had started burrowing its way to freedom.

I arrived at the hospital. The one I go to for pain management,  and the ER was fairly quiet. Score! I sat down with one of the nurses,  Matthew, he was a sweetie, even though he couldn’t spell Ehlers Danlos. He thought ahead and put me somewhere where I didn’t have to get up and down. My husband asked right away if there was a place I could lie down and I was able to lie on a stretcher the waiting room. It made such a difference!

I was transferred to a room, like an ER bay, because you know the pelvic exam is coming…

The doctor came in and did a preliminary outward examination of me. When he got to my back, I screamed. I didn’t know that. Well, I guess that hurts.

Apparently, on my chart, it has huge notes all over saying DO NOT DO A PELVIC EXAM UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY! This is because pelvic exams hurt me. Very badly. The doctor, realizing this and seeing the preliminary exam, orders 6 mg? Of morphine before we go any further. What a sane and sensible man!

Later, he comes back to do the pelvic exam, and can’t find anything too dramatic. Takes swabs.

Next is a pelvic ultrasound. I have done this a billion times. The technician is awesome. It hurts much less than it has in the past. In the past, I’m not on morphine.

We arrived around 10:30, it is now around 3:30, husband decides to grab some food because we have a lull. This is where everything happens.

The doctor comes in while husband is gone and informs me that the ultrasound shows my Mirena is in the right place, no problems there.

The doc comes back 3 minutes later to tell me there is no indication this is anything but an endometriosis flare up. However, because there was discharge and bleeding there is a small chance there is an infection. They have the culture, but it takes 48 hours to grow, they will call me and we will prescribe something then. Otherwise, many women still get their period with Mirena, (all of a sudden, after 13 years?) that’s what this may be, go home. Follow up with your doctor, you need more pain medicine.

So, fine, we were getting up to go and wending our way through the maze of stretchers and some bitch sitting on her boyfriends stretcher had seen us coming out of the room and stretched her foot out to kick me as I went past. Nice. Bitches in this city.

So, anyway, I’m frustrated. I feel like I’m back at the drawing board. I thought I had this sorted, and it’s reared its ugly head. I need to meet with my doctor, but she’s near impossible to get an appointment with.  So, I’m going to need to consider another doctor. That’s first up.

I don’t think I want a hysterectomy. All advice to date has indicated I’m in pseudo-menopause now. Having my organs removed won’t make a difference to the pain, but will for other things. Will have to discuss with the doctor I end up with.

In terms of diet, I am on FODMAP, and can’t really change that. It’s been suggested I go vegetarian, or fish-based, but I’m allergic to fish, I’m allergic to legumes, which screws up vegetarianism. But I am also allergic to soy. So I’m very picky about my food. I only eat about two dozen items, and most are well vetted for proper growing technique.

Once again, spending the long weekend resting up. I suppose we tackle this new adventure on Tuesday.

I’m going to rest. So tired.

💜