Misery Inventory 😭

giphy1Please laugh at my misery. 😁 I am having a pretty lousy day.

It actually started last night. I did my makeup for a friend’s birthday, (once again, just ask) and I was just tuckered. I fell asleep at 5? And asked husband to wake me at 8-ish. He claims he couldn’t wake me. This could be true, as once I was in hospital, and the doctor actually picked me up and shook me, I could feel her do that, I felt myself trying to wake up, but I couldn’t. So I sleep deeply. I have CPAP, don’t worry.

So I woke up this morning, just barely, and my head hurrrrrts. My neck is just aching. I can’t follow a thing. I’ve tried four documentaries and they make no sense. I have to write everything down or it’s gone. I did buy a bunch of journals over the weekend this was so much fun, though.

My stomach is killing me too, though. I have heartburn, unusual. I’m so careful, and have been not cheating. I guess the chips are out. Lightly salted, too spicy. 😐 I am so very nauseated and yet am hungry. Plus my stomach hurts. Just the actual physical area of my stomach hurts. I was wearing a bralettes and it hurt, so I had to take it off. Another day where I can’t wear clothes, they are too much pressure. Physical pressure. My nightgowns are too close around my throat, though I know they aren’t. Any seam hurts. My fuzzy blanket is all I can handle. We’ve had honest discussions with the kids why mommy doesn’t wear clothes sometimes, and why that is a problem in society and we have to give her privacy.

Anyway, my stomach is acting up, but I did have a BM today, which is fantastic! πŸ˜€ I used to have to have shots that would reverse the opioids I was on so I could go. It was not a fun time.

But in addition to this, I’m having endometriosis-related cramps, and I can’t figure out why. I don’t know if my body is adjusting to the weight loss, which seems to be stable for now, around 195. Everything hurts for now, and I can never remember what I’m supposed to do.

I finally got it straight with husband. I’m supposed to take marijuana oil and then vape, but I don’t have the strength to vape. I don’t know if I’m just being lazy? Oh, hell no. I am not a lazy person. I really can’t. I don’t think it will do what I need it to do for my neck, anyway. I would really love a bath, but I can’t muster myself to get in there.

The kids are well amused. Daughter is downstairs doing whatever it is she does, and boy is playing the new Nintendo Switch we bought for Husband’s birthday next month. We thought we should get it early and have some time to play it. It arrived Friday, so the boys rushed through their chores, and husband and I had a long discussion about whether he really did ask me to order Zelda or not. I swear he didn’t. I am clear as day on this, but is it just my memory? But I would have no memory of the incident altogether, right? And he forgets to give me the phone every morning so I have to go crawl for it and hurt myself.

So, husband is calling the hospital every couple of days with no response. This is what you get with top doctors. Arrogance.

I have a ton of shopping due to arrive today. At least that should distract. And once I get that bath!

❀

Wednesday!

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Having a restful day relaxing and recovering from yesterday and my doctor appointment adventure. I’m awfully tired today. Very sore, but feeling good otherwise. My hands are unruly, though. It’s like trying to type with mannequin hands. They are so stiff, and kind of sore.

My son had to watch the documentary movie Supersize Me for school, so we watched it together. He has so much homework to do while on break, but I don’t think he’s touched much of it. I know he was supposed to have a bath today, and has ignored all requests to get in and do that. Dad will have to yell, I suppose.

My husband called about that ridiculous taxi driver who was so obnoxious yesterday, and it turns out he is suspended. The company apparently has been having problems with him, but they can’t really prevent him from getting into one of their cars and driving, he’s just not sanctioned. Nice to know, staying home forever now. πŸ˜‚

I put up a photo of my new highlighter set and got a comment on my Instagram from said highlighter creator, and my favourite makeup guru Pat McGrath, so I am in seventh heaven today! I took some time to play and I had a good relaxing fun experience.

My television cable box Β connection has been broken since yesterday. This isn’t enormous, but I get a ringing in my ears and I like some television noise to drown it out. Music is jarring to me, for some reason and that really upsets me. I miss it. I can only listen to things in a certain tone and if it gets too high-pitched, I just cringe. Also, at a certain point I flake. With no TV, I keep on going… not good.

My friend since high school sent me the most touching note. I’m just … I need a few days sometimes between when something happens and thanking someone. I need time to let my emotions settle. It was so beautiful. I’m going to keep that note forever. ❀

Today was a comfortable day, despite the pain. I don’t know if that even makes sense.

Have a lovely day, Zebra friends! πŸ˜™