Pain, Pain Go Away!

26ufcmjwxjpthng1i

Finally, I came to my senses last night and took a sleeping pill. I don’t know if the nights of not sleeping contributed, or if this was on the way, anyway, but when I woke up, that right lower quadrant pain was searing. It started last night, actually. My husband was making dinner, and I went into spasm. It took my breath away. I wanted to call him, but I couldn’t even breathe. It lasted for nearly three minutes, but it felt like an hour.

Today it would twinge and spasm with any movement. I took my allowed medicine, the breakthrough stuff, and tried to relax, but it’s hard. Eventually, the lack of sleep and meds caught up, so I took a nap. I am feeling calmer, but still feeling like I’m sleeping with a live grenade.

These are days I just want to eat sugar and cry. So I had some cookies and my nap.

I still won’t see my pain specialist about this until June. My choices until then:

  1. Attempt to harass his staff
  2. Rush him at the next appointment in April
  3. Complain to my GP, who sent me to a specialist so he doesn’t have to deal with this
  4. Trips to the ER
  5. As much breakthrough medication as I can

I’m slightly nervous about harassing his staff, because they’ve been fairly clear they have nothing. I will definitely mention it in April at the next appointment, but I’m kind of annoyed the office staff goes *shrug* when you are in pain. My GP deals with general stuff, and is in no way prepared for this, so I’m not sure he’s appropriate. Hauling my ass to the ER isn’t effective, may get me branded a drug seeker, but if it gets too bad, I’m at a loss, not knowing what else to do.

What I will try for the next couple of days is medicating to the fullest, staying still, resting, relaxing, and hoping?

Any suggestions welcome, except ‘go kill yourself’. Wait, this isn’t Facebook.

Have a pain free day, my Zebra friends! 😘

I’m Gorgeous! (Not)

I had a super painful boutique of painsomnia last night. As I was u6hjv9jgygs4orolling over to my left side to go to sleep, my left knee subluxed and I was in a lot of pain. I couldn’t quite settle it into place, and lay aching from 10:30 until I gave up at 2:00 am.

At 2:00 am, I gave up and picked up my tablet, started playing on the internet. I had to dim the light way down, because my eyes really hurt. I was able to chat with my sister in Beijing around 6:00 which is a nice treat. I haven’t spoken to her in a while. She was on vacation in Indonesia recently, and didn’t even load photos up anywhere! But Saturday is her busy day, and she told me this hilarious story about one of her 4-year-old students punching her in the face. I’m pretty sure the hilarity was in the telling.

After we chatted, I fell into a restless sleep, and woke up to my alarm at 10:00 am. Damn me for deciding to be productive on weekends. I hit the snooze for an hour and got up to use the washroom. I got back into bed, and decided to survey the damage of my face.

wp-1487438394688.jpg

My left eye is quite swollen. It looks hilarious. It’s not quite as weepy, but is tender. When my husband brings our son home from therapy, I think we should call Tele health and check. My eyeball isn’t infected, or I should say affected, I’m just sore around the eye, the left one, and I sleep on that side -so it’s drained into that sinus, we figure. I have taken Benadryl allergy complete, and am sitting propped up, but it’s not draining, really.

I don’t want to go to a walk-in clinic, especially while flu-ish because I don’t want to catch something worse. If it’s not urgent and can be managed, I’d rather hang on and go see my GP on Tuesday, because of course it’s a long weekend! I’m sick just about every long weekend, it’s a running joke. Our daughter is sick, too, poor sweetie.

To add to my grotesque appearance is a large pimple where my chin used to be. It’s scabbed over now and looks like a cold sore that got lost.

I need a bath so much. I am so sore, and my hair has been two weeks without a wash, and needs detangling. It would have been so good if I could have gotten to it even a day or so ago! I just do not have the spoons. I will have to tackle it first thing tomorrow. Put the family on notice. I feel so weak.

I had a neat conversation with a friend today. She is a nurse, and gets the flu shot because of being around immune compromised people like me, but she hadn’t noticed a difference herself. I explained how normally, a flu could keep me sick and essentially unconscious, because I’m sleeping to get better for six weeks or so to gain my strength. But when I have a flu shot, and they get them right, I recover much quicker. I’ve been sick nearly a week, but I’m not sleeping the whole time, and I have been keeping food down, etc. She didn’t realize it could be that bad. She’s so lovely. I’m sure she’s a great nurse!

pg2bvxtorfh32I went on a bit of a shopping spree last night. Urban Decay was offering triple points, and I’m determined to make top-tier, for some reason; and then I bought some lipstick. If I can’t put it on, at least I can buy it! I have to stop with these sprees, especially when I’m over budget. Our tax system is such that our payroll tax, I think it is, starts in January, and when your contribution is full, they stop collection, around July. This means my husband loses $1,000 out of his cheque for six months and then we forget the rest of the year. Every January it’s a new round of belt-tightening. What? Save money for the lean times! Pshaw!

There have just been so many escalating costs, too. Especially just around the first of this year. I think I’ve whined about this plenty. I won’t bore you more. It’s tough finding things to do when your concentration isn’t great, and your hands don’t work so well. Online shopping is so much fun, but that gets old too. It’s just stuff. I am enjoying playing with it when I can. I’m enjoying blogging here, too. I’ve met lovely people. Only lovely people.

I’ve offended people talking about my spending, but they may actually do things, outside, like in public. I don’t think they even realize there are months I don’t get to leave the house, so $300 on makeup isn’t horrid. What did you spend $300 on last month able person? Lattes? Taxis? Lunches? It adds up. I didn’t have those expenses, at all. But I do realize I have privilege. Many people don’t have the means. I married a smart, hard-working guy, and we have had some really lucky breaks along the way.

I’m aware I may be babbling. I’m in that hazy, cool, fun, dreamy, tired state.

I often resent that I had to stop my career, such as it was, to tend to my broken body. What could I have done if I had gotten proper support instead of being encouraged to go on LTD? Would I have been a better employee were I not in pain all the time? I don’t know. Life is this way now, and I’ve spent so much time getting to know myself, I wouldn’t trade with anyone now.

Our son is going on a class trip for four days next week and I’m stressed.  He’s growing so fast! Ugh, these kids give me so much stress, and are my world, all at the same time. I didn’t realize parenting would be as much fun as it has been. I’ve laughed so much along the way! There have been lots of tears, too. But lots of laughs. I will be so relieved when he’s back home.

Probably should nap now. My eye hasn’t changed, but is getting tired.

Wash your hands, my zebra pals! 😘

 

This Wasn’t the Distraction I Wanted

yb0ejzyyj1k6i

My husband has had a problem with a serious, painful, eye infection since October. Which, of course, is why I posted a photo of Marty Feldman from Young Frankenstein. Great movie. Anyway, this infection has been nasty, painful, and kind of gross. It turns his gorgeous deep blue eyes sort of icy, and then add the red…he looks like a serial killer in a horror movie

He also had cataract surgery in November. Or was it glaucoma surgery? He has both. He’s only 48, so it’s really unusual, but there’s a family history, plus he had this panic attack in August of 2015 that wasn’t..things weren’t right after. Because he is only 48 and still had vision, the Ontario government wouldn’t pay for it. So we could pay the  $9,500 for surgery, or use the drops for two years until he hit fifty.

In Canada, the health care is controlled provincially, so what happens in one province may not happen in another. Also, if you spend something like (approximately) 4% of your income on medical expenses, you can claim them on your taxes. Well, that ends up pretty simple for us. With my son’s physical and emotional therapy for Aspergers, my daughter’s Aspergers emotional therapy, my emotional therapy, injection fees, braces, equipment, medicine that we pay for…I believe there is a $1,000 deductible before we get to 100% of our medications covered by our employer plan. So we get there pretty easily.

When my husband sought treatment originally,  the doctor was alarmed. Husband had gone to our GP as our Eye Specialist was in Mexico volunteering, as he does every year. The GP remarked this was highly contagious and couldn’t believe nobody in the house had it. When the Eye Doctor returned 5 days later, husband was chastised for not going there first! 😄 We got some strong drops, the eyes cleared up and all was good.

The drops finished on Monday. Today at work, he texted me at 10:30 to let me know his eyes are bright red again. He called the doctor, the eye specialist, but can’t be seen until after 2:30. He waited and went straight there.

The doctor noticed he had swelling internal to his eyes, and gave him drops at 10x the strength. Husband has to go back on Friday after my appointment with my doctor. He explained the situation and is just going to get there when he gets there. I have some great community support here.

I was teasing my husband he was jealous of my infirmity and wanted to emulate it. He is so healthy and capable, this is a bit disconcerting. I hope this takes this time, I hate to see him in pain. He always hides it, but I know it’s bothering him.

Also, he’s been texting me all day, and I have been struggling to get something – anything! Done! 😋

Happy Monday! 😉

xt1xghkp7hqm0jvwrs

I had a pretty darn good weekend! I managed to accomplish quite a lot, all while giving my carpal tunnel a bit of a rest. I mean, I assume it’s carpal tunnel. My GP told me it probably was years ago when I first complained about it. Now that I say this, it had to be over 20 years ago, and he didn’t even examine me. I really need to get this checked.

So, on Friday I received a Vox Box, which is sent out by Influenster.com. You get to try out things and review them on

20170128_170754

Playing with the vampy Bite amuse bouche in Whiskey,  liner in 044

different sites. I get to review Bite Beauty’s new lip pencils. They are amazeballs. On Saturday I was able to do some makeup try-on for my other blog after a nice long bath, and I tried ALL THE LIPSTICKS! It was a blast!

I woke up around my usual time of 10:00, dozed until 10:30, breakfast, coffee, vaping, bath. So I didn’t really get going until after 1:00, closer to 2:00. My son saw me in the early afternoon, and then came by at 7:00 and I was still taking pictures of myself! He must have thought… What the? But I explained that I rested, I changed my lipstick every few pictures so people can tell what it looks like! “Oooh!” He said!

Sunday was so productive! I was able to edit some of the photos I had taken. I caught upon some news during my morning vape. I love Sunday mornings, hubby makes chocolate chip pancakes! They are so good!

While catching up with things, I found out one of my newer friends is having a crisis. She had her heat shut off because she made an arrangement with the heating company or whomever and whoops! Not in the system! I know so many who are screwed over like this. Of course the CSR is lying to her because everything is recorded, but you can’t fight them. They have all the power, literally. So we got together and helped. It’s tough, because so many need help. We do make some money, but we are spending so much now, too. Son has two therapy appointments a week now, at $200 each. I go 2x per month, daughter should go every month. Then there’s living in one of the most expensive cities in the world. I don’t go out socially, so, save money there. Anyway, I just wish I could do more.

So, my daughter’s birthday is coming up, speaking of money, and we hadn’t bought her anything yet. I saw the cutest t-shirt I thought she would like, and then found one for myself, and then she wanted another, then one for her friend. They were starting at $12 USD, which is how we got suckered in. So we bought some adorable tees. Then I bought her some pants from the Gap. It’s one of the few places I can order online for her that carries tall. She is 5’9″ and wears a small PLUS she is all leg. She needed them. I had to buy myself some, too, as none of my pants fit me anymore. I ended up buying 2 pairs of jeans and a pair of ‘joggers’ although I wanted some pants. I can’t seem to find pants that are neither too casual, nor too dressy, and come past my ankle. Am I too demanding? No rips, no shiny, full length.

When I lost all that weight over the last 2 years, my pants didn’t seem to shrink much up until just recently. I went down two sizes when I ordered and they were still too big. One of the sizes I bought was a 16! I hope it fits! I am 5 lbs away from being under 200 lbs 😮

Sunday afternoon my daughter and I watched the Beware of Slenderman Documentary. I was so disappointed! It was really boring! It didn’t go into anything. I knew as much from skimming a couple of articles and reading a couple of links on Slenderman.  I do not have a huge knowledge of the Character, but I didn’t come away feeling like I knew anything more than I did before. My daughter left halfway through. The interviews with the parents of the girls involved in the Slenderman Stabbings were interesting, the testimony and interviews of the girls were interesting, but you felt it was leading somewhere it wasn’t. Ah, darn.

My boy spent some time with me both on Saturday night and last night. He’s a great cuddler. He said on Friday night, “if I got to choose my Mom I’d choose you a million times over!”

Hope you had a fantastic weekend! It’s supposed to be freezing here in Toronto for the next couple of weeks, so I am not looking forward to that! Hope you’re comfortable where you are! 😘