Upsetting News

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Ugh. My husband called the pain clinic to harass them about my not getting callbacks. When he listened to the Clinics outgoing message, he learned that my doctor, the head of the clinic, is away indefinitely.

I’m frightened.

Firstly, he did not look at all well at our last appointment. He is quite overweight, and looked pale and well, grey.

Secondly, he is not a young man. Going by his graduation dates, he is in his late seventies to early eighties. He has been pushing himself hard, working at least five days a week at the clinic, and travelling all over the world lecturing on pain management. I do hope he is able to recover.

The clinic has assured us it is still running, but, selfishly, I have my shots in two? Weeks. Nobody is as talented as he is. I’m going to get some hesitating ass. Nightmare.

Currently I have referrals out to:

  • Neurologist
  • Gastroenterologist
  • The hand and knee specialists retired so I’m waiting for the EDS clinic.

My heart test came back, it was ‘grossly normal’. Now the EDS clinic has everything they need, and the Manager said we should hear from her within a month, if not to contact her to find out what is going on. I don’t expect an actual appointment, but a date gives me hope. ❤

My good friend is moving an hour and a half out of the city. I dont get to see him much anyway, but he was offred a great spot in a retirement home and he can’t pass it up. We talked for an hour last night and damn it cheered me up!

It’s just so hard to get together with people when you feel lousy, and your kids take over the house, it’s not that big to begin with, and you can’t even serve tea. You don’t want to treat your family as staff, but you want friends to yourself, but as adults, do they come over and hang out in your bedroom? What the hell, sure! 😂

I don’t like this change nonsense.

If you can pray for my doc, I’d appreciate it. I hope he just needs rest.

Misery Inventory 😭

giphy1Please laugh at my misery. 😁 I am having a pretty lousy day.

It actually started last night. I did my makeup for a friend’s birthday, (once again, just ask) and I was just tuckered. I fell asleep at 5? And asked husband to wake me at 8-ish. He claims he couldn’t wake me. This could be true, as once I was in hospital, and the doctor actually picked me up and shook me, I could feel her do that, I felt myself trying to wake up, but I couldn’t. So I sleep deeply. I have CPAP, don’t worry.

So I woke up this morning, just barely, and my head hurrrrrts. My neck is just aching. I can’t follow a thing. I’ve tried four documentaries and they make no sense. I have to write everything down or it’s gone. I did buy a bunch of journals over the weekend this was so much fun, though.

My stomach is killing me too, though. I have heartburn, unusual. I’m so careful, and have been not cheating. I guess the chips are out. Lightly salted, too spicy. 😐 I am so very nauseated and yet am hungry. Plus my stomach hurts. Just the actual physical area of my stomach hurts. I was wearing a bralettes and it hurt, so I had to take it off. Another day where I can’t wear clothes, they are too much pressure. Physical pressure. My nightgowns are too close around my throat, though I know they aren’t. Any seam hurts. My fuzzy blanket is all I can handle. We’ve had honest discussions with the kids why mommy doesn’t wear clothes sometimes, and why that is a problem in society and we have to give her privacy.

Anyway, my stomach is acting up, but I did have a BM today, which is fantastic! 😀 I used to have to have shots that would reverse the opioids I was on so I could go. It was not a fun time.

But in addition to this, I’m having endometriosis-related cramps, and I can’t figure out why. I don’t know if my body is adjusting to the weight loss, which seems to be stable for now, around 195. Everything hurts for now, and I can never remember what I’m supposed to do.

I finally got it straight with husband. I’m supposed to take marijuana oil and then vape, but I don’t have the strength to vape. I don’t know if I’m just being lazy? Oh, hell no. I am not a lazy person. I really can’t. I don’t think it will do what I need it to do for my neck, anyway. I would really love a bath, but I can’t muster myself to get in there.

The kids are well amused. Daughter is downstairs doing whatever it is she does, and boy is playing the new Nintendo Switch we bought for Husband’s birthday next month. We thought we should get it early and have some time to play it. It arrived Friday, so the boys rushed through their chores, and husband and I had a long discussion about whether he really did ask me to order Zelda or not. I swear he didn’t. I am clear as day on this, but is it just my memory? But I would have no memory of the incident altogether, right? And he forgets to give me the phone every morning so I have to go crawl for it and hurt myself.

So, husband is calling the hospital every couple of days with no response. This is what you get with top doctors. Arrogance.

I have a ton of shopping due to arrive today. At least that should distract. And once I get that bath!

Gastroparesis Awareness

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Lovely, I was just reading a post on Twitter from the EDS Association reminding us it was Gastroparesis Awareness month. I replied I was pretty sure I had this, was awaiting diagnosis. Someone snarkily replied it was dangerous to diagnose yourself from the internet, and did I have tests scheduled. I replied I was trying, I had other priorities, which got, if you’re so sick, you should have your priorities in order. My retort was about needing my energy to bug my pain doc about my neurologist at the moment, but under normal circumstances, definitely.

It’s such a shame there are so many scammers out there we have to be suspicious of everyone. That really sucks.

I got partway into my makeup and just ran out of steam. I couldn’t go on. I’m dead. I hate using that analogy, but my lips are pale and I’m drained. I feel awful.

Anyway, back to gastroparesis. I have almost all the symptoms. It involves very slow digestion. I will eat at lunch, still be full at dinner. If you overeat, sometimes you vomit the remainder up. I am not doing this much anymore. I have a very small appetite, am constantly, well mostly, nauseated. My stomach is often bloated. Constipation, cramps, constant heartburn. I can’t think of much else.

My current diet consists of:

  • My morning coffee
  • Oatmeal for breakfast (the bad kind)
  • Homemade nachos with corn tortilla chips, melted lactose free cheese and low fat sour cream
  • glucose-fructose free iced tea
  • gluten free pizza
  • Chicken Tacos
  • Chicka Chicka Boom popcorn
  • Rice Crackers
  • Homemade hamburgers
  • Homemade hash browns
  • Chocolate (This is not necessarily FODMAP friendly)
  • Chocolate chip pancakes with syrup

 

  • I have been munching on lightly salted chips the past couple of days, as it quells the nausea. It worked during my pregnancies, my first one I lost 30 lbs! I was still 30 lbs heavier than now! 😮

This is all the food I would eat in a normal week. Other things we have in the house I can have are:

  • Lactose free ice cream
  • sorbet
  • Rice pasta with garlic and onion free sauce (gag)
  • Husband has a mini storeroom of chocolate in the basement, apparently.  For me.

I love my chocolate and popcorn, but I don’t miss my food. Since I started feeling better for the most part while on FODMAP, I don’t miss eating tons of things. I’m not often craving foods the way I used to, though I sometimes do get hungry. It takes a long time, though.

I hope I can get a gastroenterologist soon. I’m trying to think, and there just aren’t any other foods I eat. 🤔 Nope.

 

Progress!

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Finally, some good news! After another hellish treatment with Botox, (actually it’s not the needles that hurt, it’s feeling around for the trigger points to inject, because even gentle pressure on areas of my body really hurts). And I need to tell you the story of my day, still, because it was funny, but I’m still worn out.

My doctor gave me a cream for my head pain and said I can actually use it anywhere. It’s a bizarre mixture of ketamine, gabapentin, and other stuff. So far it’s helping to a certain degree. It may take time, though. I tried it first on Wednesday, and was immediately sick. But then the pain subsided slowly.

I tried it on my stomach last night and this morning. This morning, I was immediately ill. I may need to ramp up even slower. I don’t know quite how, except one part at a time. You only use a half a pea size amount per small area. My entire abdomen takes 1.5 pea sized amounts.

So, I guess this stuff is pretty strong? Or I’m just sick by coincidence, which is possible, because I hurt to be touched and my husband was rubbing some of the sorest spots on my body. Gently, but, sore nonetheless.

Just a bit about my doctor appointment from Tuesday: after we did the treatment, we had a chance to talk, and my doctor is concerned about my head and neck pain. He is sending me to a neurologist, even though he is one himself, he doesn’t have time to deal with this, his hands are full. The neurologist will consider a nerve block, likely, but will investigate the source of the pain.

My husband asked him what we should do in future with pain like this, and he shrugged without shrugging. It very much depends on my health, the danger, circumstances, everything, really. Am I in pain? What do I need? What am I looking for? So I asked if I should have gone for my head. He told me he won’t know until they find out what’s wrong. There ya go.

Last bit of gossip is we discussed my gastroenterology problem. I am now down close to 120 lbs. There is no way at nearly 47 years old I should be bedridden and losing two lbs a week. It makes no sense, metabolically. At about 193 lbs now, I’m only 25 lbs overweight. That blows my mind. I’m glad I’m getting something out of this. Um. I hope it stops somewhere. Anyway, my doctor agreed, and said this should be another priority. I then looked at him and said, this isn’t making sense. This doesn’t sound like just EDS. Something else is going on here. He was silent. He went back to writing scripts. He then said, I think you’re right. I haven’t seen anything like this, it’s progressing too fast to be just EDS.

Sleeping is easier.

Have a stellar day, Zebras! 😘

Self-care, it’s Tough!

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I was chatting with my friend Tina who blogs at Avon365blog, (go check her out!) And I had mentioned how hard I find self-care. I grew up with the attitude that self-care was for the weak, and we can sleep when we’re dead.

Beginning at age 12, my parents gave me a meager allowance, considering, I think it was $25 per month for clothing, and then maybe another $20 a week for everything else. They paid for my food and shelter, and I paid for everything else. EVERYTHING. Although I usually snagged my mom’s menstrual supplies. Now this sounds like a lot of money, especially in the 80s, but I lived in Canada. I had to buy winter boots and coats. I had to buy birthday gifts for friends. I had to pay school fees for yearbooks, etc. So….I worked. I also had endometriosis, and would collapse in pain each month. And I had EDS. My aches and pains were just growing pains. But I kept on. I stayed in school and worked two nights a week and weekends. Kept my A grades. I ignored the pain. I never thought about it. I couldn’t.

This isn’t “oh! I had a terrible life!” This is just how it was.

I’m used to being busy. Sitting still is tough. Watching TV? Why not organize a drawer? Tidy up? Fold laundry?

Sometimes  wonder if that’s why the Universe/God/Flying Spaghetti Monster finally made me slow down and listen. I’m learning how to do this. When I saw the physiotherapist a year and a half ago, while he was talking to me, he was drawing letters on my leg. I had no idea. I was really out of touch with my body. I’m slightly better now. Losing weight has helped. I want to be more in touch now, I’m not in self loathing mode.

Today, my back is really sore. I had fun playing makeup yesterday! It’s fun and relaxing. I’m glad I still can do something. The back of my head is quite sore today, and rain is in the forecast. The weather definitely has something to do with this. Cluster migraines?

My mom asked me a strange question the other day. She asked me if (I presume she was talking about EDS) was progressive. I hadn’t thought about that perception. Whether I just have a series of flares or if my health actually deteriorates. I had thought it was obvious, as I was formerly ‘normal’ (average), but upon further reflection, really it isn’t.  I have gone from working my ass off to bedridden, but there is also the consideration of breakdown of collagen and tissue. For example, my knees – particularly the right, has a breakdown of the meniscus so dramatic that it is ‘gone’. When I walk it is bone on bone and the patella is so loose I walk like a cowboy. My left is also on its way. My wrists and fingers are sore and achy, likely insane carpal tunnel. I’m trying to get in with specialists to actually treat this, but the doctors retire, someone screws something up, this is three years of nonsense. My 100 lbs weight loss has not relieved any pain, in fact, overall, my pain has increased. I finally found a gastroenterologist who had a clue what was wrong with me, and he retired.

So, yeah, I feel it is progressive, in that as structures break down in your body – the collagen containing ones… I guess that’s most of them. Your body is going to start to deteriorate. My elbows are going the way of my knees. My fingers ache all the time. My tablet isn’t always my happy place.

Okay, going to try to play! Have a fun day, Zebra friends! 😘

State of the Union

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This .gif is from Idiocracy if you don’t recognize it. I don’t know what I’m doing using American imagery, being Canadian, but this is one of my favourite movies. If you haven’t seen it, do and soon. Written and directed by Mike Judge, the guy who did Office Space and King of the Hill, it was released in 2006, he now says “I didn’t intend it to be a documentary”!

A lovely woman has been messaging me on Facebook messenger, and she has been sending me greetings such as ‘have a pain-free day!’ I appreciate the sentiment, but I finally had to ask her to please say something else, as having a pain-free day is so unlikely as to be impossible, and it is almost depressing! She was amiable and lovely, however, it made me think of all the things I take for granted that people know.

 

What is ‘wrong’ with me

At this point I have a few diagnosed illnesses.

Endometriosis

This was my first diagnosed illness. Endometriosis is where your uterine tissue grows outside your uterus. It can cause organs and tissues to bind together, and horrendous pain during periods. I was diagnosed at 19 by a gynecologist through a laparoscapy.  I have had five laparascopies to remove adhesions, tissue, etc. My bowel and bladder are most affected.

Migraines

Migraines started monthly, soon after my periods started. As the years continued they became more frequent. By the time I was 40, they were up to two or three a week. I started on Botox injections shortly after. They were lifesaving.

EDS, Ehlers-Danlos H3 Syndrome

I was diagnosed with EDS at age 44 by a geneticist. She was not impressed until I put my leg over my head while standing. Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is caused by a fault in a person’s connective tissue and collagen is made improperly. This results in myriad problems unique to each person. My stomach and digestion, as well as knees and neck seem hardest hit. And my wrist from years of computer work is very unhappy.

Fibromyalgia

I’ve heard this word tossed around a lot. I’m not certain it applied to me. For the longest time I actually didn’t believe in it. I thought it was something doctors used to fob off on whiners to get them to shut up. Now that it’s been explained, I understand a bit more. They suspect it’s been brought on by the continuous pain I’ve been in, my body is essentially misfiring pain signals constantly.

IBS – Irritable bowel syndrome 

They are definitely not in good humour, that’s for darn sure.

Hernia

I have a microscopic hernia in my stomach that people muse about whether is causing a problem or not.

Swan neck deformity 

This is more just interesting. My fingers are bent at the tips, so they look like a swan neck. It’s fairly common in EDSers.

 

What is being investigated

Carpal tunnel

I’m having massive wrist problems, my GP said this is what it was, but didn’t really examine me.

Complex regional pain syndrome

Something to do with my abdomen being so bloody sensitive to touch. You touch it and I jump sky high. It’s terrible.

Gastroparesis

I likely fit the definition for this, just no one has said the words.

 

Who is involved in my care

Right now, the people involved in my health care are:

My husband

All around point man, food getter, diet manager, cheerleader, favourite person.

GP – General Practitioner

He is really good at referring me to people. I have been with him for over 20 years now. Nice guy, no clout.

The Pharmacist

My hero. This guy is great. He extended us credit when we were poor, keeps me from dying prematurely. You know, regular stuff.

Pain Management Doctor

I love this man. He is impossible to get an appointment with at a decent time, but he looked after my pain when it was critical. I will always appreciate that.

My Therapist

She has had me do more work than anyone, but she is amazing! Adore her. Tough, but fair. Lucky to have found her.

My Dentist

Really good dentist, up on the latest pain management techniques, too bad he is on the second floor. Luckily they book me for same-day visits. I can go when I feel good.

My Cannabis Doctor 

My new doctor is so good! She listens! She cares! I adore her! I am so lucky!

My Gastroenterologist

Ugh. This guy. I need to go back, but I don’t even want to. I don’t think he knows what to do with me, and I’m not sure it interests him.

My Nutritionist

Still have not been able to set up an appointment, so I might have to contact the hospital liason.

My Gynecologist

She is a hoot! She told me one of her friends is a dentist and asked how she could look at vaginas all day. She responded with ‘how can you look at teeth all day?’ 😄😄😄

My Respiratory Specialist

I love her! She monitors my CPAP machine and my sleeping. I need to go and see her again, as I lost 100 lbs, we may need to adjust things.

 

People I need on my team

Carpal Tunnel Doctor

I have a name, I’m seeing my doctor in ten days, he may refer me to someone internally. He referred me to a hand specialist, but she retired.

Knee Specialist

You know how puppets ‘walk’? I feel like I have to kick my legs out to the side to make my legs work. It’s weird. And my knees are all wonky, like they are sliding around. It’s uncomfortable.

Physiotherapist

I know a great physiotherapist, I’m just in too much pain to get up, dressed, there and back by myself.

Pelvic Physiotherapist

I did this for a bit, but same as above. Too much pain to get up, dressed, there and back by myself.

 

That’s where things are as of right now. Unfortunately,  it looks like I’m going to have to sleep again today. 😔 I’m so annoyed.

Hope you’re having a great day!

Have a stripey day, Zebra friends!

 

 

 

 

Adventures in FODMAP

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My adventure with the FODMAP eating plan really started in January in 2016. Well, that’s where it gets interesting, anyway. Technically, it would start at conception, when my genes decided I would have the stomach I have, but that’s reaching. I should mention in 2015 I had lost 40 lbs to go from 305 to 265. Let’s start in January of 2016

January/February 2016

I am having trouble swallowing. I find I have a bit of a ‘click’ in my throat, and food and medicine is beginning to stick. I visit my doctor, who refers me to an Ear, Nose, Throat Doctor (ENT). He is concerned, and books me for a barium swallow, at which they tack on a marshmallow test to test something else, but apparently this is significant.

The results came back indicating there were no issues with my throat per se,  but it was extremely damaged by acid, and I should see a gastroenterologist.

End of February: 250 lbs.

March/April 2016

Bloodwork needed to be done in order to see the gastroenterologist, so I did some with my GP, an found my B12 and white blood cells were high. Off to the Oncologist-Hematologist. After more tests and exams, which were painful, he said he may have to do a bone marrow biopsy, but no, thank goodness, he didn’t. He decided I just had a weird white blood cell count and took me off B12 supplements. Actually, all vitamins for a while.

For three weeks in April, I became violently ill. I was vomiting, had diarrhea, it was like day one of the flu for three solid weeks. I lost thirty pounds that month. I could barely eat. It was horrific. I was afraid I would die. I took Gravol continually. It was a nightmare. Eventually it subsided.

End of April: 220 lbs.

May/June 2016

The sharp stomach pain started in my lower abdomen and stomach. I was in constant pain and nausea. I ate what I could tolerate. What kept me going. The doctor made an appointment for an endoscopy with biopsy for the end of August.

End of June: 220 lbs.

July/August/September 2016

Feeling pretty awful but stable through July and August. I try to tell my doctor I can’t eat much and ask if it’s a problem. He tells me not to worry, I’ll get fat again as soon as they solve my stomach problems.  I have the biopsy. I swear I feel the snip.

End of September  215 lbs.

October 2016

My appointment to get my results in the October appointment were interesting. The gastroenterologist told me my stomach had an unusual texture. He asked about my life, I told him about how the pain keeps me mostly in my room. He told me that my life sounded pathetic, which made me cry. At that point he told me I needed to see a therapist because I was obviously depressed.

I’m not certain how the subject changed, but he asked me if I had problems with gas and bloating. As a matter of fact, I do! Much of it is because I eat too fast. I used to be teased for eating too slow, and eating hurts me, I’d rather not. The gastroenterologist then, almost as an afterthought, suggested I go see the Nutritionist across the hall and try the FODMAP eating plan and see if it works, just for a month, and then work to add foods back.

So I did. I made an appointment with her and my husband, as he does all the cooking and food shopping.

Why Don’t I Call it a Diet?

I suffered from eating disorders as a young woman, and I am nervous about the word. Also, I am not trying to lose weight, it is a plan for me, not a temporary measure. I need to be as serious about it as I should be.

 

What is FODMAP?

FODMAP is designed to help decrease your intake of fructose glucose, which, when you have slow motility like I do, will ferment in your intestines and create gas and bloating.

The best resource I’ve found for explanation has been at Diet vs. Disease.

 

From Diet vs Disease:

FODMAP described by co-creator Sue Shepard) stands for:

  • Fermentable– meaning they are broken down (fermented) by bacteria in the large bowel
  • Oligosaccharides– “oligo” means “few” and “saccharide” means sugar. These molecules are made up of individual sugars joined together in a chain
  • Disaccharides– “di” means two. This is a double sugar molecule
  • Monosaccharides– “mono” means single. This is a single sugar molecule
  • And Polyols– these are sugar alcohols (however, they don’t lead to intoxication!)

Let’s stick with the term FODMAPs shall we?

Those saccharides and polyols are short-chain carbohydrates that, if poorly digested, ferment in the lower part of your large intestine (bowel). This fermentation process draws in water and produces carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and/or methane gas that causes the intestine to stretch and expand.

The result is strong pain, bloating, visible abdominal distension and other related symptoms (1).

FODMAPS in the bowel

FODMAP Food Lists

Diet vs. Disease is an excellent resource. DietvsDisease.org

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I look at a wonderful chart like this and it makes me depressed. Great list, huh? Lots to eat, still! I’m allergic to much of it. I have anaphylaxis to peanuts, as does my husband, he is allergic to tree nuts, so we don’t keep them in the house. I am allergic to fish, paprika, beets, bananas, pork (but can have bacon, small mercies). I am not to have soy, as it is thought to aggravate endometriosis.

  • Because of the peanut allergy, I’m tangentially allergic to legumes and peas, they give me eczema when I eat them. They are off limits as per my allergist. Alcohol hurts my stomach. I’m not a huge drinker anyway, but I enjoy it occasionally.

There are many foods I do not like. Squash, raw tomatoes, oranges, turnip, most things with a strong taste.

So What Do You Eat?

Breakfast

  • Monday through Friday – Coffee with Lactose free milk and sugar with Dinosaur Egg Oatmeal
  • Saturday – Coffee with lactose free milk and sugar with two hash browns and six pieces of bacon, of which I get two. (My boy steals the rest, it’s a game)
  • Sunday – Coffee with lactose free milk and sugar with two homemade chocolate chip pancakes and light syrup, and two pieces of bacon. I munch on breakfast through the early afternoon.

Lunch

  • Monday through Friday – 1 oz of lactose free cheese on two crisp bread crackers
  • Saturday – Homemade nachos; 2 oz lactose free cheese melted on some plain tortilla chips, with 2 oz dairy free sour cream.
  • Sunday – Leisurely finishing breakfast

Dinner

  • Sunday – order gluten-free pizza. 2 slices (small)
  • Monday – 2 slices leftover pizza (small)
  • Tuesday – Homemade chicken fajita night with dairy free sour cream and corn tortillas (2 small fajitas)
  • Wednesday – Pasta night. I hate this new pasta and no garlic, so I eat my last two slices of pizza and my husband grumbles about making different meals for every person.
  • Thursday – 1/2 Turkey burger with bacon and Lactose free cheese .25 oz. I started to have this with a homemade bun, they were fabulous, but my husband would make the patties so darn thick, I can’t get my mouth around them, so he stopped the buns for a while.
  • Friday – Chicken Fajita night – Homemade and so yummy! I have 2 small ones.
  • Saturday – I have the other half of my turkey burger

UPDATE: My husband has informed me he does more than grumbles, he actually complains, and the burger I consume is beef. 😉

Snacks and Dessert

Dessert will happen 4 days out of seven, usually. I have a stash of sweets hanging around. They aren’t always the best for FODMAP, but sometimes the pain demands it.

  • Chapman’s ice cream lactose free in caramel ribbon
  • Fruit sorbet
  • Glutino double cream cookies
  • Glutino vanilla cream cookies
  • Panda licorice
  • A wee bit of chocolate

 

Results

I started FODMAP in October of 2016. I started to see results immediately when I slowed my eating. When I changed my eating, it took about three weeks. I noticed I started to feel better. In fact, I felt better than I had in a long time.

I spoke to the nutritionist and she was somewhat supportive. I had an appointment with her in November, and have been trying to make a follow-up appointment ever since. When I contacted her in December to ask for some guidance about sticking to the plan when I had to attend a function at a restaurant, she replied “try to stick to the plan”. Ever so helpful.

Current Status

As FODMAP is supposed to be temporary, I have been seeking guidance as to how to add foods back. I am still waiting for an appointment with the nutritionist, I will send her another email. The pain in my stomach is not subsided, but it is less acute than it was. I should go back to see the gastroenterologist,  but I’m not excited to. The stabbing pain in my stomach is kind of insistent.

I have experimented with the occasional pop here, and bit of garlic there, and had blindingly painful results. I nearly went to meet my maker (painwise) after a bout with orange chicken a couple of weeks ago, so I’ve become resolute.

Current weight: 207 lbs.

Conclusion

FODMAP has helped with many of my symptoms, and it wasn’t that big of change in my eating habits, except for going gluten and lactose free.  Once those substitutions were made, I felt many of my aches and pains diminish. Now only my intense pain remains. How long can I remain on this plan? That is up to time, my stomach, and my nutritionist to decide.

I would be pleased if I lost another 30 lbs, but I am not actively trying to do so, but the nausea I have daily often prevents me from taking in my daily goal of 800 kcals. This is a low number, I acknowledge, however, I continue to be bedridden and hope on more days than not to take in more like 1300 kcals. Should I have another month like I did last April, I think it’s wise to keep some extra meat on my bones. I still suffer from near-constant nausea, I don’t know if there is a solution for that.

 

Have a lovely day, Zebra friends! 😘