Just Keep Swimming

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I’ve spent the last five days or so sleeping for at least half the day, and I’m still exhausted. I just don’t have the strength nor energy to do many of the things I want to do. I really have to think about what I want to accomplish and where I can spend my energy. If a conversation runs over, so long bath! My daughter had a panic attack this morning and I am pretty much done for.

My husband has this idea in his head that I’m bored. Nothing could be further from the truth! I have lists of things I want to do! I have makeup looks I want to do, books unread and stacked, waiting, crochet projects, movies to be watched, blog posts to write, friends to chat with! As it is, I am busy from morning until night when I have the energy. I can’t seem to convince him, and it makes me so sad.

My neck is so bothersome I just can’t take it. I move wrong and I have intense pain. I don’t know what to do about it. I’m waiting for my doctor appointment in six weeks. Hell, I have pain when I don’t move. I’ve considered going to the hospital, but really, what can they do? My abdomen is also giving me incredible pain. I’ve run out of the higher THC mmj my doc prescribed. I only vaped extra once, so that doesn’t work. I ordered yesterday, so yay.

Good news, I broke 200 lbs! I’m 198 now. I don’t really know how to stop this. I guess I will stop when I’m there? I’m eating what I can, not trying so hard.

Going to try a nap for a couple hours, then try and put a face together, because it’s fun! 😀

Hope you’re having a good day, Zebras!

The Sleep Monster!

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The sleep monster has had me for the past couple of days. I start nodding off around eleven am, I get up around six am, so five hours isn’t bad… I decide to lie down for an hour or two and I end up sleeping for six or seven hours. I wake up just in time to have a small snack and go back to sleep. It’s very disheartening, because there are so many things I would like to do. We always hope this is temporary, but you just never know how long it’s going to last.

When these sorts of things crop up, we have to make decisions. Decide what our priorities are. Our worlds get smaller. We have to decide what to keep and what to cut. It’s not easy. Friends tend to pull away. I’m to weak to worry right now.

I’ve lost another five lbs. I’m on the verge of 200 at 202. I’d love to break 200, but I’m worried. This week was due to nausea and sleeping through dinner. Five lbs a week is also too much. What can I do? I eat when I can.

I am scheduled for Botox injections on April 4. That should help. Until then… I did receive the stronger Cannabis, both in THC, but mostly CBD, but husband needs to grind it, because even though it’s milled, I like it finer. Picky, picky!

This has taken a lot out of me. I need to rest. Soon.

Happy Zebras! 😘

State of the Union

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This .gif is from Idiocracy if you don’t recognize it. I don’t know what I’m doing using American imagery, being Canadian, but this is one of my favourite movies. If you haven’t seen it, do and soon. Written and directed by Mike Judge, the guy who did Office Space and King of the Hill, it was released in 2006, he now says “I didn’t intend it to be a documentary”!

A lovely woman has been messaging me on Facebook messenger, and she has been sending me greetings such as ‘have a pain-free day!’ I appreciate the sentiment, but I finally had to ask her to please say something else, as having a pain-free day is so unlikely as to be impossible, and it is almost depressing! She was amiable and lovely, however, it made me think of all the things I take for granted that people know.

 

What is ‘wrong’ with me

At this point I have a few diagnosed illnesses.

Endometriosis

This was my first diagnosed illness. Endometriosis is where your uterine tissue grows outside your uterus. It can cause organs and tissues to bind together, and horrendous pain during periods. I was diagnosed at 19 by a gynecologist through a laparoscapy.  I have had five laparascopies to remove adhesions, tissue, etc. My bowel and bladder are most affected.

Migraines

Migraines started monthly, soon after my periods started. As the years continued they became more frequent. By the time I was 40, they were up to two or three a week. I started on Botox injections shortly after. They were lifesaving.

EDS, Ehlers-Danlos H3 Syndrome

I was diagnosed with EDS at age 44 by a geneticist. She was not impressed until I put my leg over my head while standing. Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is caused by a fault in a person’s connective tissue and collagen is made improperly. This results in myriad problems unique to each person. My stomach and digestion, as well as knees and neck seem hardest hit. And my wrist from years of computer work is very unhappy.

Fibromyalgia

I’ve heard this word tossed around a lot. I’m not certain it applied to me. For the longest time I actually didn’t believe in it. I thought it was something doctors used to fob off on whiners to get them to shut up. Now that it’s been explained, I understand a bit more. They suspect it’s been brought on by the continuous pain I’ve been in, my body is essentially misfiring pain signals constantly.

IBS – Irritable bowel syndrome 

They are definitely not in good humour, that’s for darn sure.

Hernia

I have a microscopic hernia in my stomach that people muse about whether is causing a problem or not.

Swan neck deformity 

This is more just interesting. My fingers are bent at the tips, so they look like a swan neck. It’s fairly common in EDSers.

 

What is being investigated

Carpal tunnel

I’m having massive wrist problems, my GP said this is what it was, but didn’t really examine me.

Complex regional pain syndrome

Something to do with my abdomen being so bloody sensitive to touch. You touch it and I jump sky high. It’s terrible.

Gastroparesis

I likely fit the definition for this, just no one has said the words.

 

Who is involved in my care

Right now, the people involved in my health care are:

My husband

All around point man, food getter, diet manager, cheerleader, favourite person.

GP – General Practitioner

He is really good at referring me to people. I have been with him for over 20 years now. Nice guy, no clout.

The Pharmacist

My hero. This guy is great. He extended us credit when we were poor, keeps me from dying prematurely. You know, regular stuff.

Pain Management Doctor

I love this man. He is impossible to get an appointment with at a decent time, but he looked after my pain when it was critical. I will always appreciate that.

My Therapist

She has had me do more work than anyone, but she is amazing! Adore her. Tough, but fair. Lucky to have found her.

My Dentist

Really good dentist, up on the latest pain management techniques, too bad he is on the second floor. Luckily they book me for same-day visits. I can go when I feel good.

My Cannabis Doctor 

My new doctor is so good! She listens! She cares! I adore her! I am so lucky!

My Gastroenterologist

Ugh. This guy. I need to go back, but I don’t even want to. I don’t think he knows what to do with me, and I’m not sure it interests him.

My Nutritionist

Still have not been able to set up an appointment, so I might have to contact the hospital liason.

My Gynecologist

She is a hoot! She told me one of her friends is a dentist and asked how she could look at vaginas all day. She responded with ‘how can you look at teeth all day?’ 😄😄😄

My Respiratory Specialist

I love her! She monitors my CPAP machine and my sleeping. I need to go and see her again, as I lost 100 lbs, we may need to adjust things.

 

People I need on my team

Carpal Tunnel Doctor

I have a name, I’m seeing my doctor in ten days, he may refer me to someone internally. He referred me to a hand specialist, but she retired.

Knee Specialist

You know how puppets ‘walk’? I feel like I have to kick my legs out to the side to make my legs work. It’s weird. And my knees are all wonky, like they are sliding around. It’s uncomfortable.

Physiotherapist

I know a great physiotherapist, I’m just in too much pain to get up, dressed, there and back by myself.

Pelvic Physiotherapist

I did this for a bit, but same as above. Too much pain to get up, dressed, there and back by myself.

 

That’s where things are as of right now. Unfortunately,  it looks like I’m going to have to sleep again today. 😔 I’m so annoyed.

Hope you’re having a great day!

Have a stripey day, Zebra friends!