…and I don’t even have to look at it! 🤣
Christmas Day was fairly successful, I made it downstairs to the living room, like I do every year, and we proceeded as usual. My son was pretty silly, and I was grouchier than I wish I had been. I hurt a lot. I wanted to be alert, so I relied on Tylenol to cover some gaps. Well, that didn’t work so well. I wasn’t yelling or anything, but – I need to express pain more appropriately. I did stop and apologize as soon as I realized it was happening. And it was likely because my 13 year old boy was sitting beside me on our rickety old couch and bouncing. It was exacerbating my aches. As soon as my brain clued in, I could do better. It was nice being around everyone. We had banter.
It became obvious I will need to spend more time downstairs, because after 4 hours or so, I became very disoriented. I knew where I was, but I was very… I just wanted to close my eyes and be safe in my bed where I was supposed to be, although I knew I was in no danger. Perhaps a panic attack? I was getting tired by this time and had been sitting up the whole time. This was very unusual. I very much wanted to stretch my legs out. And recline.
I haven’t been sleeping well. I do spend a lot of time on my left side curled in a ball. I sleep on and off. Sometimes when i take the sleeping pill the doctor gives me, I am up most of the night. Every couple of hours. It is nearly 2:30 am. I don’t know if it’s the drugs, or if it’s the pain keeping me awake. All I know is the neck pain has started creeping up the back of my head and is wrapping around my face from behind. Like the first face hugger who discovered anal. But had an Armadillo fetish.
This pain will not let me sleep. I have my emergency sleeping pills. I’ve been trying to use them all month and the pain is just cutting through. Sleeping pill and cold medicine. Nothing. I’m weak. I’m drained of energy. Im sleeping when I can. Now that Christmas is over, I will be focusing on getting back to normal. Well enough to at least feel like a human being – not a zombie!
I feel like a new mom!
I will fill you in on the rest of what went and is going on, just as soon as I am able! My kids are around and my sister is visiting from teaching English in China, haven’t seen her in ages -2 years! So, she and her husband may drop by one day, but I have no dates, so we are just playing by ear. 😆 My husband is being a really good sport! He likes plans. A lot. I have been stripped bare. I cannot plan. I need to sleep. I plan from nap to nap. Actually, I do have a small wish list that I write down everything I think of that I wish to do or want to consider purchasing, or might need to do, so I can organize them. They are running lists, but at the moment, I can only consider the very immediate projects.
I want to buy my sister a custom lipstick at Bite Beauty. They have a custom lab here in the city where they will mix you a colour. I’m scared. I don’t want to take a cab or be out there, or anything. What if I get dizzy again? I was trying to blame my medication, but it was 11 am, and I took about 2/3 of my dose at 6. It was close to my maintenance at 2. It wasn’t a drug-type feeling, either. It was… I am not feeling right, surreal, too bright… I would almost say my inner child was having a panic attack, if I could be serious about that sort of thing. Because I felt calm and in control, yet still quite bizzare. I asked my husband to come over and help, but he whined about being on a call with his friend. Thanks! 😊 He did come and see that I was all right. He only speaks to this friend a couple of times a year, and they’re besties. Tragic love story, separated by oceans…😛… I get it. So, my daughter, 16 in February, hugged me as she was sitting beside me. It was lovely, grounding, as how much affection do we see from our teens? And within a few minutes I was better, but tired and weak.it was time to go upstairs for a nap!
Hope you’ve had a lovely day!
I will tell you all about our Christmas and Boxing day, which is a thing here in Canada!