The Appointment

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I haven’t posted in a bit because my head and neck pain has been really bad. I have been trying to cope as best I can with frequent resting and making sure I take my medication on time. The pain has still been so overwhelming, the only thing I could really do was sleep. So I was sleeping up to 18 hours per day. I had also developed this weird swelling of my mouth, but I think we’ve figured that out. I didn’t have it last night, so cleaning my mouth guard seemed to help.

I was really hanging on for my doctor appointment.

Husband and I arrived well in time for our 8 am time. We waited a few minutes and were called in. He asked what we were there for, and I began describing my symptoms. He stopped me and asked if we were dealing with this before with the previous doctor. No… He referred us to you, the neurologist. Oh, but he’s not a neurologist! He’s an anaestheseologist! This appointment is to ensure I have enough medication!

My husband spoke for a while after that while I tried to compose myself. All I know for certain is we have more of the magic cream that makes my neck feel awesome for ten seconds. It’s actually not bad.

There is no neurologist on staff, but they are hiring one. So he will refer me. It will just take a long time. I also demanded a referral to a gastroenterologist, which he tried to dance away from, but I insisted. Sorry if you have to do work, doc.

I saw my GYN on Tuesday, much better appointment. She feels my period was a one-off. No cysts or anomalies on the ultrasound. Did a full exam, while uncomfortable, we determined most of my pain was likely gastrointestinal, hence the gastroenterologist. I have a very sharp pain on my lower right quadrant that is horrific. She also gave me a prescription for visanne, should things get out of hand.

My husband was brilliant and rented a wheelchair for these excursions. It made things so much easier! I didn’t feel like I was dragging myself down the hall. We have a prescription to buy one. We should get on that.

I’m not entirely certain what to do now. I can’t live like this for 6 months until they sort things out. I will get in touch with the EDS clinic and see what they have at that hospital.  My GP will refer, he just doesn’t know to whom.

The other option is ER with every flare. Not good options.

Oh, and I will be getting my migraine shots, at least. They are set up for October 24, with a doctor who is amazing, so that’s positive. He doesn’t do the rest of the body, though, and a shot in my pubic bone would go a long way to less pain. My back… I could probably do it myself after 12 years! Ha ha!

Ok, getting tired.

I’ve bought a bunch of cute things to cheer me up lately. I hope I have the spoons to show you soon! 😄

Hugs to all.

💜

Musings

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I had a huge nap this afternoon.  I’m feeling somewhat refreshed. I can always sleep. That’s the problem. These damn medications. If I take enough to ease my pain, I am drowsy. If I take a sleeping pill so I can actually sleep, I’m tired the next day. If I don’t take the sleeping pill, I have painsomnia.

That right lower quadrant pain is back. My husband calls it my porcupine. I may have started that. It’s so painful. I’m nauseated. I haven’t eaten much today. That may contribute.

Am feeling slightly disappointed. I originally started this blog to help my friends understand what my life was like. Instead of writing it on Facebook, which I felt was intrusive, I brought it here. You guessed! No one is reading, I’m speaking to people who already know what it’s like.

I find I’m running into envy from people who don’t know what my life is really like. From people who presume I’ve had things easy. I try not to complain about my aches, my pains, my financial burdens, my pain crises, because it’s boring. It’s boring to read about, and it’s boring to talk about. I don’t want to focus on those things. I want to talk to my friends and be a real person. An average person.

Glancing at my Instagram feed, you may get the impression I live a luxury lifestyle full of makeup and glamour. I do buy a lot makeup, and I constantly feel the need to defend this, however it is my main form of entertainment. It is essentially all I do for fun. I do not leave the house most months, so buying some makeup, putting it on, taking some Selfies can be tons of fun! Throw in an old product once in a while, plus my husband goes without so I can be entertained. My children are not huge consumers, and having free time plus loyalty points means I can cash in on sales. It, like most of the internet, is illusion.

I know I have advantages. My husband makes quite a bit of money. Why does nobody ever ask me about the career I lost? The one I’m mourning? Do they know his every success kills me a little inside? But we are sacrificing much of our kids’ future on medical expenses. Without some clever accounting, and massive amounts of luck, we probably wouldn’t be able to retire at all. My husband currently has to work until age 72.

Many people assume I don’t have an income. As a 50th anniversary gift, my husband and I paid for my in-laws anniversary party. They were given a cheque from our joint account. They still thanked him. Sent him a thank you card, and bought him a thank you gift. We’ve been married 15 years.

Another thing is that I am older than many of my friends. I don’t know if it’s the EDS that’s kept my face youthful looking. It could be good genes, or perhaps hiding in my bedroom for 15 years away from sunlight, but maybe people think I’ve achieved things at the age of 30 instead of nearly 50?

I don’t know what to do to dispel these myths. Do I start being honest? How does one be honest and upbeat? Can it be done? Maybe I should try anyway. I’m sick of being treated like an airhead princess.

Stay beautiful, Zebras! 😘