Botox Shots

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I had my needles for my migraines on Monday, and it was an experience. My appointment was scheduled for 9:30, but we weren’t seen until 11. Around 10:15 is when I put my head down in my lap, and 10:30 is when I burst into tears.  I just can’t sit up that long. So they let me into a room to lie down, but it only had a dental chair. So I sat in it and dangled my head over the edge.

The doctor came in and he remembered me, but couldn’t place me, which is understandable. He believes anything over 200 iu of Botox in the body at any time is wasted, so my 600 of body iu was a total waste. At this point, I’m coping well without it. My back hurts like a demon, my pubic bone is not bothering me as much, though. I am better at taking my medicine.

I had some relief from head pain, as they also inject you with lidocaine, but the back of my head still aches. It’s really tough to stay cheery.

I have confirmed I have a referral to both a gastroenterologist and a neurologist. So there will be investigation. I am hoping for some relief with the Botox. I need to relax. My husband called on the cell this morning and I had to yell to be heard. It made my head hurt.

It seems as if this doctor will be running the clinic for the time being. I am to book for my regular interval, 9 weeks, but they aren’t set up that far yet.

I have purchased a bunch of new clothes, as my weight has stabilized, it seems. I have day pajamas and night pajamas. The Gap has some super soft knits if you know or are some people with SPD.  I’ve only seen the women’s clothes, as that’s all I’ve looked for. I had my nice pajamas on, as I’m walking up to the door, my husband comments that my pants are saggy in the butt again. Dammit!  They are too big, meaning everything is too big. On the bottom anyway. Maybe my stomach just isn’t bloated. 🤣

At the moment, I need to ensure I lie down often. Rest. Things take hours. But I can avoid these headaches. Neckaches. Which is from being tense from the pain, i think. My face usually hurts regardless.

I’m still sleeping a lot. I’m trying to reach out more to people. This is a rough week. Husband is working on year end. The kids are restless. Anxiety is up.

So, I wait.

💜

Why do People Gotta be so Mean?

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WARNING: MAY BE A BIT RAMBLY AND DISJOINTED. STILL NOT AT 100% MAKING SENSE. STILL FLUISH.

It’s Monday afternoon and I’m on my way to feeling human once again.  Somewhat. I am fairly sure it will take a few weeks before I am completely back and feeling whole, as it sometimes does with colds. It’s funny, it’s not always the really heavy colds, either. This one I had a light sore throat, but I was so tired, and those sores on my tongue came back. They seem to come back now the second I get run down. They are terrible. I can’t have more barriers to eating!

Yesterday was my husband’s 49th birthday. He looks much younger. He was asked last fall to join an under 30 kickboxing club. 😂 He declined.  The family finally got me to move at about 4 in the afternoon. I was still very weak, but I hung out, still in bed, because I’m always in bed, tried to be a good sport, and tried some food. My husband had made some FODMAP friendly brownies, so I had a couple. He eventually made me a smoothie, which I spilled all over myself. Yay! I’m just waiting to take a bath.

My head is really hurting today. It never ends. It’s nice my brain decided to ease up while the rest was acting up. Or I didn’t notice it.

The hospital hasn’t called back, and it’s long past 48 hours, so I assume we aren’t dealing with an infection. So, it looks like I have to face facts and will likely have to find a new GYN. I love mine, but she isn’t available enough to me, and did not return my husband’s call. Can’t work with that. I don’t have the energy.

So, I can’t remember if I mentioned this, but I’m too weak to check, as we were leaving the exam room, we walked by the patient at the nurses station on a stretcher. Obviously, I was in a room because of the examination that needed to be done. The patients partner was sitting crossways across the bed and my husband walks past, holding my hand, I’m clutching my stomach, and she stretches her legs out and tries to kick me in the knee. She just barely makes contact, though, short-legs-having-bitch. Why?

Then I get out to the waiting room, I had to make sure I didn’t hallucinate this one. This woman was sitting in the waiting room, and it was about half full. My husband found the closest chair and dumped me on it, and this woman was sitting across from me. Husband goes to get a cab, and she goes “Ha ha” and I assume she’s looking at her phone, but she’s staring me down. I just put my head in my hands. She may have taken a photo, because she had her camera out and in position, but that didn’t occur to me until later. 6 mg of morphine, remember. I did not fall asleep! But I did get somewhat stupid. I remembered what happened, but it took me a while to parse it. She looked so normal! Then this guy came out that ahe was with, and he did not look, uh, well. I appreciate a man who works with his hands, but this man looked like he worked with his face! Wow! I don’t know the relationship, but the age difference looked huge! I’m biased, because my ex was older and it was bad. Strange people everywhere.

I don’t understand deliberately trying to hurt someone. And on that note, a big shout out to twiggyjen44 whom I may have been inadvertently ornery with in my cold/pain/drug induced haze. I am very sorry if I was snarky. Thank you for your help and advice! 💜

Over this next week I’m going to work on recovering my strength before making any decisions. I seem to have had one round of bleeding that has stopped. Perhaps my lining had just built up enough that it needed to slough. We have moved my cranberry pill to the morning, so that should help with any chronic yeast problems.

Oh! Yes! When the nurse was inserting the iv into my hand, she really crammed it into the back of my hand. I heard it pop when it entered my vein. That has never happened before.  But I have the teeniest of yellow bruises. I am one Zebra who doesn’t bruise! And another thing, my body should be stretched out from being fat, but it snapped back! Reverse elasticity? 🤣 I think my skin just isn’t very involved.

Another thing at the hospital, while I had my blood drawn, this woman came in, she was in her large 60s, she approached the triage nurse. Patient explained she was at the ER and the doctor wanted her to come back for a follow up test. Triage nurse explained patient had to go to her GP. Patient claims the doctor told her to come back here. Triage nurse tried not to roll her eyes and started to ask the patient questions. Which start to go in circles. We go through this whole routine three times, at which point the patient decides she wants to come back tomorrow, and tries to book an appointment. All the nurses were listening in by the end, trying not to either laugh in sympathy or strangle the patient.

When I was still waiting in the hall, one lady jumped up because her partner was getting worse, they were worried about his heart. She bashed into my stretcher, which hurt so much, and surprised me, I felt so bad for calling out, but I couldn’t help it. She apologised, but her mind was elsewhere, of course. Goodness. I’m such a jerk when I don’t mean to be. It’s good I don’t go out much! 🙊

I must admit, though, even though I had to spell Ehlers Danlos for them, I did get treated awesomely. Adequate pain management, no drug seeking questioning (it does help to go to the hospital that does administrate my pain management), thinking ahead so I didn’t have to move too much, all in all, the staff was very considerate.

Okay, I’m going to go find someone to monitor my bath. I fell a couple of weeks ago, and I like to have someone keep an ear out for giant splashes or thuds.

💜

Muddling Through

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All in all, I’m not feeling too awful. I hadn’t had a great time sleeping, but once I’d figured out my feet haven’t been warm since… I can’t remember, it was time for some socks. I usually can’t sleep with socks on, but my feet liked this, and I slept like the proverbial log. I thought I should look online to see if I could find some slippers. Not an easy thing in August. I may stick with the socks with the trippy bottoms for now.

I was miserable last night. I had a couple of days where I had slept for 20 hours or so, and my meds were all screwed up. My knee kept popping out, my face and head hurt, my back hurt, I had cramps, I couldn’t remember anything, and I was lonely.  I was whining to my husband that I couldn’t get comfortable, and I was freezing. I wanted more pillows, and he got this happy look on his face. Apparently, he had purchased all these pillows and didn’t know what to do with them. So he immediately piled four pillows on me and produced three from under the bed. Such comfort!

My sheets are so gross and smelly. I’ve been so sick, husband hasn’t been able to get me out long enough to change them. This weekend. I am so excited! The kids’ bedding is changed every week, but I’m always asking him to leave it just one more week, we will be fine! Ugh.

I am so tired these days. The heat, the pain, not moving, the stress. It adds up. I’m usually better after my shots, but I haven’t heard from the clinic yet. I’m not eating as much, either. I get weighed on the weekend, usually, too.

Today it’s mostly my head, my back, and my pubic bone giving me trouble. My knees are acting up when I get up to use the washroom. I try to straighten them and they pop and crack, quite painfully, as you see the patella slide around, or it knocks sideways before sliding into place. God, it hurts.  I’m trying to rehydrate. Last night I had the worst case of dry mouth. It’s probably from all that time asleep. I should have taken in some water. Thunder storms and rain today. The big stick that pokes my wounds.

My boy is a grouchy today. His sister is being sweet to me. I was thinking just yesterday how I will missthem when school starts. Check that. Not the fighting. Sigh.

As long as my feet are warm, I’m sleepy. So it’s naptime. I’m nodding off.

Netflix and Nausea

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My Zebra Strong tee arrived! Booster.com helps charities with fundraising, so they are a cool place to check out.

The past couple of days have been interesting. Yesterday morning I accomplished quite a bit. I cleaned a bit of my bed area and my outstanding computer files. I’m transitioning from a Yahoo address to a gmail, so I did some of that.

I napped all afternoon.

I’ve been watching a lot of Netflix. Mostly Documentaries, interspersed with Embarrassing Bodies, which mostly involves sexually harassing the male doctor, but I’m alone in my room, he can’t hear. ☺

My head hurts. I couldn’t keep down breakfast. I’m almost used to this pain now.

My memory gets really lousy as the day goes on. It’s awful. I did go on a journal spending spree and got some nice ones!

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There are some dotted pens. They are cute! I bought a proper Address Book. I won’t have to fire up the computer every time I need an address! There were three plain journals, and two holographic/iridescent journals. I’m in love with holographic or iridescent products. ❤

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Pretty! And, of course, you can see the reflection of the ring light.

It’s been thunderstorms like crazy here! 😮

I’m incredibly bored, so I’ve made Amazon my bitch, and it’s giving my husband heart palpitations. I’m terrible, I can never do just one thing at a time. The tv is on, but I have to be futzing on my tablet or organizing a drawer or writing a list… I need to Zen more. I should slow it down.

Although I felt awful today, I’m feeling better than I was this morning. My back doesn’t hurt as much, my head is okay. I might try a quick look.

It’s amazing how your pain can change. I know I’m delicate today, though. My abdomen is threatening cramps if I’m not careful. Is that the Endometriosis acting up?

Today will be quiet, with some masking, skincare, Netflix, naps, photos, and maybe a makeup look if I can.

Moving slowly, though. No need to rush!

Hope you have a great weekend!

 

 

Misery Inventory 😭

giphy1Please laugh at my misery. 😁 I am having a pretty lousy day.

It actually started last night. I did my makeup for a friend’s birthday, (once again, just ask) and I was just tuckered. I fell asleep at 5? And asked husband to wake me at 8-ish. He claims he couldn’t wake me. This could be true, as once I was in hospital, and the doctor actually picked me up and shook me, I could feel her do that, I felt myself trying to wake up, but I couldn’t. So I sleep deeply. I have CPAP, don’t worry.

So I woke up this morning, just barely, and my head hurrrrrts. My neck is just aching. I can’t follow a thing. I’ve tried four documentaries and they make no sense. I have to write everything down or it’s gone. I did buy a bunch of journals over the weekend this was so much fun, though.

My stomach is killing me too, though. I have heartburn, unusual. I’m so careful, and have been not cheating. I guess the chips are out. Lightly salted, too spicy. 😐 I am so very nauseated and yet am hungry. Plus my stomach hurts. Just the actual physical area of my stomach hurts. I was wearing a bralettes and it hurt, so I had to take it off. Another day where I can’t wear clothes, they are too much pressure. Physical pressure. My nightgowns are too close around my throat, though I know they aren’t. Any seam hurts. My fuzzy blanket is all I can handle. We’ve had honest discussions with the kids why mommy doesn’t wear clothes sometimes, and why that is a problem in society and we have to give her privacy.

Anyway, my stomach is acting up, but I did have a BM today, which is fantastic! 😀 I used to have to have shots that would reverse the opioids I was on so I could go. It was not a fun time.

But in addition to this, I’m having endometriosis-related cramps, and I can’t figure out why. I don’t know if my body is adjusting to the weight loss, which seems to be stable for now, around 195. Everything hurts for now, and I can never remember what I’m supposed to do.

I finally got it straight with husband. I’m supposed to take marijuana oil and then vape, but I don’t have the strength to vape. I don’t know if I’m just being lazy? Oh, hell no. I am not a lazy person. I really can’t. I don’t think it will do what I need it to do for my neck, anyway. I would really love a bath, but I can’t muster myself to get in there.

The kids are well amused. Daughter is downstairs doing whatever it is she does, and boy is playing the new Nintendo Switch we bought for Husband’s birthday next month. We thought we should get it early and have some time to play it. It arrived Friday, so the boys rushed through their chores, and husband and I had a long discussion about whether he really did ask me to order Zelda or not. I swear he didn’t. I am clear as day on this, but is it just my memory? But I would have no memory of the incident altogether, right? And he forgets to give me the phone every morning so I have to go crawl for it and hurt myself.

So, husband is calling the hospital every couple of days with no response. This is what you get with top doctors. Arrogance.

I have a ton of shopping due to arrive today. At least that should distract. And once I get that bath!

Oh! No! More Fuckery!

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Remember how I said I clench my jaw when in pain? Ha! Ha! I woke up yesterday with a chunk missing from one of my crowns. It hurts like hell when I eat and misfire.

Hubby called my dentist right away (he’s on call) and we giphy9decided I could hang in until Tuesday after my shots. Combination of convenience of everyone, me getting some lidocaine in my jaw before lying there with my mouth open for hours, and the probability of me getting up the stairs. The dentist asked me if I needed pain relief. I laughed. He called me back in the afternoon to check up on me, he wanted to make certain I could make it to Tuesday, still. Also his best tech is on then. It makes things go quickly. See why I’m so reluctant to leave? He also mentioned it is a medium sized cavern, now that he’d checked the records. It’s work we had done about 10 years ago. Ten years? With my grinding? Woah.

I’m also being fitted for a mouth guard. I asked for two, fully intending to pay, because it’s worth the number of times I drop it and can’t reach it and then can’t nap until my husband gets home, or drop it and can’t rinse it. My dentist was all excited about this new tougher guard, so my husband will have to try to explain. I don’t think he even heard me.

 

Today is my son’s 13th birthday! I am the mother of teenagers now! Woah, I’m old. Ha ha! When I was young, I never imagined myself this old. I just didn’t! So weird…

I can’t wait for cake!

 

Have a wonderful day Zebras! 😘

It’s May!

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My search for a Maypole .gif rewarded me with this. It amuses me, so I’ll keep it!

I’m still feeling weak today. I’m not nearly as nauseated, so I’m kind of eating non-stop. I only had 589 kcals yesterday, so this should even things out. I know I’m trying to keep myself from falling asleep. I’m annoyed because I took yesterday and lay around. I want to play today. But my body is saying no. My back hurts, my neck is just intensely painful, and my abdomen, Oooh, it’s awful. I’m tired of this. I’m tired of whining and complaining.

I would like someone to come and sit with me for a while. Someone I don’t need to talk with. I used to watch garbage TV with my sister, but she’s living in Beijing. I miss her.

I should probably give up and have that nap. It’s not going to happen today. Not now, anyway. I think I need breakthrough meds. Texted the husband to ask if we should follow up with the pain doctor.

Some things I want to say, have to wait a bit until I feel less like I’ve been hit by a steamroller.

Have a good afternoon zebra pals! 😘