Woke Up Like This

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This is me just after I woke up and took out my mouth guard and took off my CPAP machine and pulled off my sleep cap.  This is because my friends on Facebook were teasing me about looking pretty awesome even though it was hot and sticky and I felt awful. I thought this would be a good ‘Me at my worst’ photo.

There is actually a reason for my youthful facial appearance, and it has to do with EDS. Because of our faulty collagen, some of us do maintain quite a youthful appearance.  I’m not certain of the mechanics of it. But it’s a thing. Also, I’ve essentially been in a darkened room for 15 years, wear that damn sunscreen! And I look after my skin as a hobby.

There are some things I am not happy with, of course. I have a wattle under my chin. That may be from the 120 lb weight loss however. I’m exercising my face to try to lose that. I have a pronounced line around my neck that I dislike. My arms are a bit flabby, my boobs are really saggy, I would like a major reduction. My stomach is often bloated from gastroparesis, which I haven’t been officially diagnosed with, but I have. I would like my hair to stop thinning. And the really dry skin that cracks, if that would stop, that would be cool.

I acknowledge these things are nitpicky and minor, and I would only have necessary surgery to correct anything, such as breast reduction, as that may help my back pain or my constant rashes. If I need intestinal surgery, it likely won’t help my gastroparesis. I’m probably stuck with that.

 

We decided to buy my husband a Nintendo Switch for his birthday, only a month early so the kids could play this summer. It was supposed to be here Monday, but it showed on Friday instead. Everybody is rushing through their chores. 😂

 

I think I finally figured out what I was trying to say about jealousy so I can finally drop it. You can’t pick and choose what aspects of my life you want to be jealous of if you’re going to revile me. If you are going to call me a monster or a saint, it isn’t fair to analyze a microscopic part of my life. I’ve made mistakes, some big ones. But if you’re ignoring the big picture, you’re missing everything. And I think that’s what fascinates me about people. Why I dwell on things like this. It’s a puzzle to me.  Because I know if people took into account my whole life they would not be jealous.

(Jealous of ME? I’m nothing! This must be getting like bragging, but I’m sincerely not understanding, I’m so unimportant, I don’t know why anyone would bother, maybe they don’t, though and I have too much time on my hands. This is my conclusion. People often bring this up to me. 🤐)

 

Anyway. I’m spending my weekend relaxing. I have a birthday makeup thing to do for someone! I need to see my kids, my husband. Have a bath.

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😊

Enjoy!

If you want me to do makeup in your favorite colour, or your favorite style, let me know! I’d be happy to try! 😘

Disappointment

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I am so disappointed. I have been looking forward to this doctor’s appointment since we booked it. I was thinking that maybe we could finally address some of the pain I’ve been dealing with. If I could get rid of some of the sensitivity in my abdomen and hip, inner thigh, back area, I would go a long way toward being more mobile and living quite a different life, I think!

But the doctor wasn’t there.

To be fair, I think the issue may have had something to do with him being beholden to another agency. They didn’t tell us anything, but you know what it’s like after a number of years, you learn what to listen for. So, listening in, and knowing he was having trouble when he booked a room for our appointment, he likely didn’t have a listing of his patients (confirmed) when he arranged to see people. Our theory is he wasn’t being paid by the hospital,  but by another agency, which had say over his schedule, just based on what whispering we heard. His interest seemed to lie in a certain area of pain management, which is why he wanted to see these particular patients. He is keen, eager and excited to try to help. I love those kind of doctors. He was so kind at the appointment earlier. The plan is to catch up next appointment, which is April 4, or they will contact my husband if the doctor can meet earlier. I know I jinxed it when I said I didn’t want to go to the doctor this morning! 😁

My husband is at the eye doctor himself, his eyes seem to be clearing up. It’s Friday. I’m unwinding. Going out with a friend this weekend, although I don’t know what we’re doing. Probably lunch!

Found an old photo of me, probably at my heaviest weight.

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Me, with author Lindsay Kelk

I was probably just under 300 lbs here. It’s cropped weird, but I had to get all of me in there. I stopped at just over 300.

And me this morning.

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Waiting for the doctor…

204. I’d like to go to 170, but I’m not all anxious about it in case I get sick again. Sorry about my glamorous outfit, but hey, it’s the doctor! Also, why didn’t anyone tell me my boobs were so huge? Ugh! I need a better bra.

I will do a post about my weight gain/loss another time. Short, though. I used to be quite thin. Medication can do quite a number on your body.

I forgot to mention, I was so busy the other day, I started getting changed, but I only got my pants off! 😁 I wasn’t doing anything too earth shattering, just easily distracted.

Have a great day!