Last Week Was Hell



I spent last week curled in a ball, crying and hoping the pain would stop. I occasionally slept, ate crackers or drank water or iced tea when I could, but most of the time, I was too nauseated and in pain to eat much. I kept thinking ‘is this my life now?’.

I never seem to account for transition periods when I start new medication. I started or changed I think 6 new medications in the past two weeks. Not to mention the bowel cleanse I did (under doctor recommendation) the previous weekend. My abdomen was so sore I couldn’t wear anything that touched my abdomen or waist at all.

I am feeling much better this week. I am still very nauseated. I am on a lot of anti-nausea medications, but they aren’t really working well yet. I still have to ramp up on some of them. My back still really hurts, and I can’t stand for long, still. I’m very disappointed. These medications are making me so tired I am sleeping now, but I either don’t sleep or I sleep all the time. I’m either in agony, or I’m so wacked out I can’t do anything. Isn’t there a middle ground?

Frustration is definitely setting in. As well as the realization that this probably won’t change. I’m stuck with this, and I am bored as hell. I’m tired of pretending everything is great, because it isn’t.

I have two of my scopes scheduled, in January. They managed to schedule two for one day, so that’s handy. Looks like crackers and iced tea until then. Although the chicken and mashed potatoes stayed down over the weekend.  Whee!

Today is very rainy, so my joints are achy, but I feel better than I have in a while, so I will celebrate that.

Trying very hard to be positive.

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