Intrigue…

giphy3In my previous post, belatedly posted, we established I have chronic migraine and messages between my doctor and me were not being relayed through the clinic, like they were supposed to be. My doctor was displeased, but I saw her at her home hospital, and I am on the pain clinic waiting list at the EDS hospital. The issue is, not many doctors hold a license for prescribing one drug I am on, but have been trying to quit, but my doc hasn’t had enough time to make that happen. Now it’s a priority. So I have to go back to the bad clinic for a bit.

Well, I just received a call saying there was a cancellation at the bad clinic and they called me right away because they know I am in need and they want to have a discussion about my needs going forward.

Anyone else sense a clinic about to lose a lucrative client?

I am certain my migraine doctor spoke up about leaving me hanging for three months. Part of the reason I hadn’t directly emailed my doctor earlier is I had once, and received a confirmation call from the nurse on duty who refused to speak to my husband, who is by my side constantly through this, and eleven years at this clinic, he has signed all forms indicating he is my proxy. She made it sound definitely not okay to be emailing.

Or, it could be just to refill my prescriptions.

Anyway, my migraine doctor recommended a new 20180525_120251.jpgmachine alled Cefaly. I hope it makes me look like Wonder Woman. I haven’t tried it yet. They zip tied the zippers on the case together and I thought I might sever an artery if I tried to cut it open. My husband opened it with nail clippers. Genius.

I am losing large chunks of my brain, it seems. I just can’t remember things. My brain is usually razor sharp. I’m forgetting how to spell! Well, but am I forgetting, or just screwing up? I wonder.

I’m starting to relax a bit. I hope to blog a bit more. Truthfully, Things have been tough. My parents follow me everywhere on social media, and are asking so many questions; after our distant relationship, it’s really hard to adjust. I’ve tried speaking with them, but I don’t think they get it. They imagine me talking to friends or my kids or my husband. No! Most of my friends deserted me. My kids are introverted teens. They talk to me when they need their Dad to understand something, and my husband gets up at 5 am, gets home at 8:30 and I may see him from 9:30 to 11 pm if he stays up late and I’m not in a sleep phase.

But things are getting better. I have more friends now. I’m not always sleeping. Though I have my weeks. My sister was here at Christmas, but the last thing I did with a friend was last June. Ha. Last time I even went out that wasn’t a doctor appointment. That sucks.

It’s just tough having your parents witness your every human interaction. My mom means well, but she offers opinions, and I take it as criticism (because it always has been in the past, even though she doesn’t mean it that way?), partly it’s great that people are treating me as normal, but I am really delicate still. I don’t get jokes much, (maybe it’s living with three people with autism?) Maybe I am too weak, still? I feel as if we are just going to end up hurting each other or saying something the other will misunderstand, because it’s easy, and I am in pain or the medication has made me fuzzy. But I feel too weak to have the conversation, too.

Blah, it’s awful. Does anyone else feel like this or am I awful? Or both.

On a lighter note, shortly after my Botox in July, I’m getting my hair done! Decided. 😜

Much love

 

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