I’m feeling a bit better after a nap, but I am still in a lot of pain. My eyes are really sensitive to light. My flipping teeth hurt.
I am feeling really isolated and alone. Facebook is just nasty lately. Not personally, but it’s so negative. You can’t express a point of view without being slammed with the other point of view. And if you differ? Good bloody luck to you! Yikes! I’m done.
I don’t have the support I was searching for. I really don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I don’t know what makes me so unlikeable. I try really really hard, but I’m always that person on the sidelines. I don’t mean to sound melodramatic. I remember one of our extended group had cancer, and such a fuss! People sent her care packages and knit her hats… I don’t want things… but an email? That would be cool. And not from my mom tied with obligation. My mom tries to be there, but she follows me everywhere on social media, not understanding it feels like a burden.
I feel like deleting everyone but me on Facebook and keeping the memories of all the funny stuff my kids did.
It’s really dark in here, and not just because the lights are off.
On the plus side, I’m covered in melted chocolate and popcorn. I get cravings with the migraine. Probably not the best for it, but at least I went down swinging.
UPDATE: I took my medication and I just wanted to clarify a couple of things.
I want my mom to be my mom and my friends to be my friends. It’s not that I don’t love my mom, it’s just not her role, she needs to be in her place. I can’t have her out of place, it’s too much for me to cope with. I could be babbling at this point..
I am not sitting back and waiting for people to call me, usually. Now, I am, as I’m incoherent. In the past I didn’t. Also, now, I’m just not sure I’m much an asset. Be my friend! I will whine about my pain and pass out! ( attempt at humour) though there are those who are silently there, I know.
I think maybe I’m just a mess at the moment. 😄🍫🍿