I’m struggling a bit. But it’s only a bit. I’m finding it difficult these days to keep ignoring obvious ableist behaviours. I’m seeing it everywhere, stores offering special prices if you just come in, my own government just offered a special movie points program if you added a special fitness program and counted your steps. The former mayor of the city is running a charity to climb the stairs of the CN Tower, with language that assumes we are all at home sitting and waiting to join him. I’m increasingly feeling like I don’t belong in this world. It certainly wasn’t made for me. I don’t know if I should speak out.
My flare-up seems to be under control for the moment. I’m hopeful I can hang on for a while. I think Ren of Broken Down Body was really on to something when she suggested my psoas muscle. This could explain the whole pain wrapped around my back and everything. I’m still taking everything in my arsenal, and trying to rest.
My husband has his eye infection thing back. We assumed it was an eye infection, treated it with steroids, as soon as those stopped, his eyes were red again, started stronger steroids, those stopped on the 23rd. We expect it to be a systemic reaction maybe? The eye doctor may send him to either our GP or the ER to get bloodwork. The concern is with the ocular swelling that was going on. He’s booked tomorrow semi off work, because his eyes hurt so much, especially with any light.
As I think about it, my wish is to be average for a while again. I miss so much. There is so much I’ve given up. This stupid illness. I try to have as much fun as I can. I try to hide my disappointment from people. I swallow a lot of my resentment. If they only had an inkling.
My life was supposed to be so much different.
Stay in the light, zebras! 😘